Now, Ron sat up, paying attention. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get going.”
“I…I don’t have my car, and I’ll need to drive Grace’s when I get there…can you call me a taxi?”
“No,” he said, standing up and moving towards the door. He leaned out. “Dani?” When she looked up at him andmouthed, ‘What’, he shouted down, “Get the van and take Caz here and drop her off at Grace’s office.”
“I can get a cab. I’ve wasted enough of your time today—” She felt the tears beginning again and sniffed, gulping in air and swallowing down the emotions.
Ron closed the door with as slow and quiet a movement as Caz had ever seen from him.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I can see quite clearly that sommat is up. Now, I’m not going to pry, because I would like to think you’ll both tell me in your own time if it’s something I need to know about. But in the meantime, whatever it is, it needs fixing.” He placed a warm palm on her shoulder. “So, you go home, and you and my Sweetpea will work this out. Because I’ve never seen her as happy as she is with you.”
Caz nodded. “I’ll try.”
Chapter Forty
The van was a melting pot of stuff that didn’t need to be there, empty Coke cans scrunched up in the door pockets beside half-eaten crisp packets and old newspapers.
“Who even reads newspapers anymore?” Caz said when she’d adjusted her seatbelt. Small talk or silence, those were her options for this trip.
“It’s Jez. He’s always got to have one, for the horses or something. I told him to just download an app, but you know Jez,” Dani responded, understanding the mission without the need for instructions.
Caz stared out of the window.
It wasn’t a long journey to the next town over where Grace’s office was. As Dani turned into the high street, Caz could see the building up ahead, and the anxious feeling that had settled these past twelve hours or so, began to rumble around more loudly within her again.
A million questions flooded her brain, and for a moment, she was almost overwhelmed by it all. But then she stopped and reminded herself this wasn’t about her. It was about Grace, and about grief. They’d either make it through or they wouldn’t, but if they failed, it wouldn’t be because Caz fell apart or gave up.
“Here you go,” Dani said. She’d pulled the van into the kerb and Caz hadn’t even noticed. “Look, I get it, you’re not ready to talk about it…but when you are, I’m here, okay?”
Caz smiled a tight smile that stretched her lips more than her cheeks. “Thanks,” was all she managed before she pulled on the lever and opened the van’s big heavy door and jumped out.
She didn’t look back, focused on one thing and one thing only: Grace.
The door opened before she reached for it.
Tall, distinguished, hair mostly grey, and male, his smile was warm and sincere. “Hi, Caz. She’s through the back with Reeja.”
“Thanks, Pete,” Caz said, stepping inside. She didn’t politely wait to be shown through. Instead, she marched ahead, into the small corridor at the back that lead down to a small kitchen area with seating.
Her heart cracked another fissure when she saw the sight of Grace. Sitting at the table, arms folded in her lap, make-up streaked down her face, looking blank and numb.
“Grace?” Caz said gently. She nodded to the woman who had been sitting with Grace, who now stood up and moved out of the way.
“I’ll leave you both,” she said and squeezed Caz’s bicep as she passed.
Squatting down, Caz took action. She reached for Grace’s hand, and feeling no movement to stop her, she gripped it more firmly, lovingly rubbing her thumb over the back of Grace’s fingers. “Hey.” She tried a smile again when Grace turned and focused on her just enough. “Was thinking we should go home, yeah?”
There was a packet of wet wipes on the table and Caz pulled one free. Tentatively, she began to wipe away the smudged mascara and foundation until it was virtually all gone.
Grace said nothing, but when Caz pulled gently on her hand, she allowed herself to be drawn to her feet. Her bag and coat were on the table and Caz took them, one arm slipping around Grace as they inched towards the door and the back entrance where Caz knew Grace’s car would be parked.
“Caz?”
The simple word—her name—said so sadly it almost broke her, but she held firm.
“Yeah?”
“It’s gone.”