Page 50 of Failed State

If you ask me, that just means we have to save ourselves and this stupid game is the way to do it.

I push the food I barely nibbled on away and roll to my feet. The rest of those assholes might be licking their wounds, but I’ve made certain I thrive in this depressing reality by pivoting. My life since capture hasn’t been sunshine and roses, but it has been better than the people in the camps who gave up trying. The key is having goals and being willing to sacrifice everything for them—even your own safety or dignity. That’s what I’ve done andour team needs to do some fucking version of it so we win this goddamn thing.

Walking over to the mirror, I check my reflection to make sure I don’t have something in my teeth or shit on my face. I’m going to convince Sydney that we need to use our forced participation for more than gaining our freedom to live in some swank community. We need to use it to get to that place so we can domore.

I blink at my reflection, confused at my train of thought. It’s not like me to worry about what happens to anyone but me. My entire life, I’ve never known anyone who wasn’t entirely out for themselves and I always act accordingly. Why am I suddenly acting like I’m one of those do-good savior-types? My frown deepens as I spritz myself with the cologne on the dresser and step back.

I don’t know what’s happening to me or why, but it’s weird as hell.

The sound of my fist knocking on her door is followed by a loud, annoyed sigh inside. My lips quirk up at the corner as I listen to Sydney stomping across the floor of her room to yank the door open with a scowl.

“Was there something unclear about ‘I want to be alone’ or are you just dense?”

Giving her the most charming smile I have, I tilt my head. “No, you were clear. However, you couldn’t possibly have meant to exclude me. I have the absolute strongest shoulders to lean on when you’re sad.”

She snorts. “I believe Thad and Elias have you beat there, Mr. Wizard.”

I pretend to pout, making sure I wedge my foot in the door so she can’t slam it closed. “Perhaps, though for a non-shifter, I’m very well defined. You can’t deny that.”

“I can deny anything I want, Stormbringer. Why are you here?”

My dick twitches and I realize I enjoy the hell out of her taking me to task; who knew?

“I’m here to be supportive, just like I said.” Biting my lower lip, I employ the big eyed beautiful man tactics that have served me well since the Sweeps. “My experiences since they tossed us in camps have been full of shock and upheavals, unlike your boyfriends or the prisoners. I can relate to this feeling and commiserate a little.”

Her eyes narrow and she crosses her arms over her chest as she seethes. Suddenly, I’m very aware that she shed her outer layer, revealing tanned skin in a white tank top. Her long blond hair is hanging over her shoulders in loose waves from the braid she had it pinned back in all day. Other than her expression, this is the most vulnerable I’ve seen Sydney look since they paired us together. It makes me itch to touch her, but I’m not going to do it in the hallway.

“Rory, I’m not going to fall for your charming rogue bullshit. I’ve been friends with Huck for too long to let a pretty smile and long lashes distract me.”

So shehasnoticed how good looking her companions are. Interesting.

“I’m not trying to distract you, Vicious. I want to… you know, empathize with you or whatever.” Planting my palm on the door, I give it a little push to test the waters, and when she lets it open further my gut clenches.

Sighing heavily, she rolls her eyes. “You’re not going away unless I humor you, right?”

“Smart girl,” I reply with another bright smile then motion with my hands. “I promise I won’t be a dick while I’m here.”

“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” she says as she turns on her heel, leaving me to follow her inside. “Close it behind you, though. I’d don’t want this to become a fucking slumber party.”

Fuck, yeah. I got her to let me in.

“Understood. Sometimes, that many guys in the room can be… overwhelming.” I shut the door and walk in, looking around for a place to land.

Sydney drops onto her bed, tucking her legs into some sort of pretzel as she looks up at me. “You can sit on the other side if you behave.”

Rounding the end of her bed, I arch a brow. “What happens if I don’t?”

The knife she flicks open seems to come out of nowhere, pressing against my spine as I pause halfway to sitting next to her. “Oh. Well, that’s uncalled for.”

“I don’t often mince words, Rory, nor do I set unclear boundaries.” Her blue eyes are dark as she says that and I wonder how many times that resolve has been tested. She pulls back, and the knife disappears as I join her on the bed.

Leaning back against the headboard, I get settled then look over at her. “That stuff from earlier put you on the reality tilt-a-whirl, huh?”

Sydney looks down at her hands, shrugging. “Sort of. I think realizing I’ve been sticking my head in the sand by accepting the stuff my dad told me before he died as truth was worse. I thought I knew exactly how everything worked and what wrongs I’d suffered. But…”

“But what?” I ask softly.

“My father taught me a lot of things that weren’t exactly the truth, I think. He must have been more resentful of my mother’s situation than I knew and that must have gotten worse with TheUnveiling.” She chews on her lip, then pushes her finger through her long locks as she lets out a long breath. “My behavior since I was thrown in the camps has probably been shitty and self-centered because I was so damn ignorant. I hate knowing that.”

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