Page 51 of Failed State

That’s why she’s upset? Because she might have been insensitive to a bunch of people she doesn’t even know?

“Vicious, I’m gonna be gentle when I say this but… get over yourself.” Her gasp and frown almost makes me laugh, but I keep it together so I can finish. “Look, you probablywerean asshat to people. Who cares? You didn’t know any better and even if you were as big a dick as Whitmore, it doesn’t matter. It only makes a difference if you hurt the ones you care about. If you did that, then apologize and move on.”

Her nose wrinkles adorably and I feel my entire body tense up. This hard shelled woman has a completely different side if you get her when her guard is down. “What if they don’t understand? What if they don’t accept my apology?”

“That’s a risk you have to take when you admit to doing shit wrong.” I roll to my side, reaching up to brush a lock of hair out of her face. “I know I’m not mad at you for being such a pill since we met. I’m used to people judging me for the choices I’ve made to keep myself alive and comfortable. It makes ignoring judgmental dumbasses pretty easy.”

“I am not a judgmental dumbass!” Sydney sits up, her face flushing as I watch the shell reappear.

I am dancing around a minefield and this is not exactly my forte.—I should have brought alcohol.

“Look, Sydney. I’m here to listen and commiserate, but I won’t sugar coat shit. Apparently, enough people have been doing that.”

“Damn,” she mutters, kicking her foot on the bed petulantly. “You got me there. Huck and Thad haven’t ever tried to correctme, but they had to know. Well, Huck did, for sure. I don’t know about Thad.”

Nodding as I wait for her to relax again, I ask, “Are you going to apologize to the blood sucker? The dragon?”

Her snort makes me chuckle, but before I can chide her, Sydney nods. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve acted like Elias was a fucking dirty criminal and you were a whore. I was too rough on Sebastian because of my dad’s prejudice and ignorance, too. It doesn’t make me feel like a good person.”

This time, I wrinkle my nose, looking sheepish. “Well… you weren’t totally wrong, Vicious. I’ve done a lot of shit I don’t want to shout to the heavens about to get what I wanted. Some of it I consented to more than other things, and I don’t think it’s shameful as much as I prefer to keep my choices private. I wouldn’t say prostitute—even though that’s totally fine—but I definitely developed what I’d call ‘sponsors’. But that’s about as much as I’m ready to discuss with you right now, if that’s okay.”

The silence hangs in the air as her features soften in a way I’ve only seen happen when the demon and bear comfort her. Very slowly, Sydney lifts her hand and places it on mine. “Rory, I was being a nasty, sanctimonious bitch. The camps are awful, everyone is terrified when they arrive, and people make decisions they don’t want to in order to survive. I didn’t realize I’d been using some sort of litmus test to decide who was worthy when we’reallvictims of this regime.”

Holy shit. She’s touching and asking for my forgiveness.

Suddenly, I realize this isn’t what I came here to talk about, but that doesn’t matter. No one has ever heard this much of my truth without beingmoredisgusted rather than less. “You were, and we are. So I forgive you and I’m pretty sure everyone else will, too. It’s obvious you’re meant to be the leader of this circus and to do that, we have to keep letting each other in.”

“Fuck,” she mutters as she leans back against the headboard, too. “I’m not good at… emotional things. Dad trained me on strategy, fighting, and tried to get me to use magic, but he didn’t give me a lot in the way of social graces.”

I smirk at her, arching a brow. “You know who’s pretty good at that shit, right?”

“Uh, everyone but me?”

Laughing, I shake my head. “No, I am. Whitmore, too, I suppose. Maybe even the—okay, everyone but you.”

Her hand shoots out to sock me in the gut, the speed amazing as her fist makes contact. Grunting at the force, I rub the spot with a pout. “Damn, Vicious. I think you’re actually getting faster. That’s insane.”

“Don’t make fun of me, Stormbringer.”

“Fine, but that means you have to stop being so mean to me when I lighten the mood. That’smyway of using emotional intelligence to smooth shit, by the way.”

She gives me a small smile, rolling her eyes again, but I can feel the change in her mood. “Sure, that’s why you do it. We’ll pretend I believe it if you tell me why youreallycame to see me. You might be telling the truth about commiserating, but there’s something else, too. I can’t explain why, but Iknowyou had other ideas.”

I’m sure as hell not telling her about my cock’s plans, so sharing the ‘saving supernaturals’ thing it is.

THAT THING NEEDS A PERMIT

SYDNEY

Rory breathesa heavy sigh and I squeeze his hand lightly to encourage him. The mage doesn’t know why I’m so averse but I want him to believe me when I say I don’t judge him anymore. He chose the path to an easier life with the one I avoided, but he’s a victim just like the rest of us. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t fix the ugliness I’ve been nurturing like a fool for the past four years. So despite the fact that I’m not a huge toucher, I’m making an effort.

“Whitmore’s story made me realize something,” he finally says. “This fucking shitshow could be more than the propaganda tool they want it to be. We canuseit, and not just to get ourselves to safety.”

That’s… unexpected.

“You mean we should… likeHunger Gamesthese bitches?” My expression is doubtful, but he nods eagerly. “I don’t know, Rory. They’ve set up all the accounts, they monitor all the feeds… it will be almost impossible to cultivate anything rebellious without getting caught. And you know what they’ll do then—arrange an ‘accident’ during the Games.”

He looks thoughtful for a moment, and a small coin-shaped energy ball appears in his free hand. Rory rolls it over his fingers like a poker player as he makes small sounds that must mean he’s thinking. “True. But if we hijack their shit for our purposes, we can do it under their noses. We have to win the followers, get the fans, and dominate the ratings. All the accounts and the contests and whatever the fuck—we take it as seriously as a goddamn heart attack.”

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