Page 120 of Killing Me Softly

He sat, and barely dared breathe, afraid if he moved too fast, the fragile thread holding Kenny here would snap and for a long moment, he said nothing.

He justwatched him.

The steady rise and fall of his chest. How his oxygen mask fogged on every exhale. The subtle tremor in his fingers, even in sleep. And the beeping of the monitors, a steady, rhythmic reminder that Kenny was still there. A nurse passed by, adjusting the IV line, checking his vitals. She caught Aaron’s frantic, wrecked expression and offered him a small, knowing smile. One that said she’d seen this a hundred times before. It didn’t make it any easier.

Then Kenny coughed.

Aaron lurched forward, taking his hand, wrapping it tight in his own. “Hey, hey,” he whispered, lifting Kenny’s hand to his lips and pressed the lightest, gentlest kiss to his bruised knuckles. “It’s me. I’m here.”

Kenny’s eyes opened, hazy, unfocused, struggling to land on him. But when they did—when Aaron finally saw that deep brown, exhausted but alive—he could have wept.

Kenny gasped, throat catching, as though trying to speak. But Aaron shook his head. “Don’t.Don’t speak.”

Kenny blinked, chest rising shakily, but he looked almost…relieved. As if he didn’t have the energy to argue. For once, he let Aaron take the lead.

“You’re okay. Mel’s okay.” Aaron’s voice cracked. “We made it.”

Kenny’s breath hitched, as if he’d been holding that fear in his lungs, dreading the answer, and now he could finally let itgo. AndGod, Aaron hoped it didn’t mean he’d let go altogether. But then, weakly, shakily, Kenny lifted his hand, raising it to cup Aaron’s face.

A silent ask. A silent plea.

Aaron covered Kenny’s hand with his own, leaning his cheek into the warmth of his touch, the tender familiarity of it, and he closed his eyes, letting the moment settle into his bones. Tears slipped free, sliding down his cheeks in quiet streaks. His lips parted against Kenny’s palm as he whispered, voice hoarse, wrecked, “I’m okay.”

Kenny blinked, tilting his head the slightest bit, the way he always did when Aaron was bullshitting him. The softest, most exhausted ‘liar’ written across his face.

“When you’re out of here, Iwillbe.”

Kenny’s fingers twitched against his cheek before returning back to the bed. His eyes were half-lidded, exhaustion pulling him back under, but Aaron wasn’t ready to let go. He glanced at the nurse, preoccupied, then moved closer, getting right into Kenny’s space. His heart hammered wildly as he lifted the oxygen mask. And, just for a second, he kissed him.

Soft. Gentle. Chaste.

But heavy with everything.

He drew back, settling the mask into place, but Kenny held his gaze as much as he could. He swallowed, throat bobbing as he tried to force words out.

Aaron shook his head, rushing to stop him. “You don’t have to—”

But Kenny spoke anyway, his voice a fragile whisper.“You’re my reason.”

Aaron’s breath stalled in his chest.

He wasn’t sure what to say to that. Wasn’t sure if Kenny even knew what he’d just admitted, if it was the painkillers, theexhaustion, or if this was the closest Kenny would ever come to giving him every part of himself.

So Aaron didn’t make him explain it.

Instead, he kissed him again, brushing his lips over Kenny’s temple before pulling away. And because he would always be needy, always crave Kenny’s warmth, he climbed up onto the bed, careful, cautious, avoiding his stitches, and rested his head on Kenny’s shoulder.

He watched his chest rise and fall with steady breaths.

Listened to his heartbeat.

Felt his hand squeeze his.

He then wriggled down, draping Kenny’s arm around him like a protective shield, feigning the safe embrace he needed so badly.

And there, in Kenny’s arms, after everything, Aaron let the Howell in him die.

chapter twenty-four

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