Page 105 of Tactically Acquired

“Culinary school?”

I nodded. “She was in my class and she was just so beautiful. I don’t think I could breathe properly around her for at least the first week.”

“I can’t imagine it,” she teased. “Baldy was in love.”

I grinned, remembering the feeling when I first saw her. She had those beautiful, tragic eyes that drew me in. I was a goner from the moment I met her. “I was. Hopelessly. There was no one in the world for me but her.”

“Did you ask her out?”

“I wasn’t that smooth. I think my first words to her were Me Mick. Classmate.” I huffed out a laugh at the memory. “It was the first time I ever saw her smile. She took pity on me and helped me in class and we became inseparable.”

“So what happened?”

That was the part that drove a wedge between us. The part that absolutely gutted me. “She was a mess. Mentally, I mean. I tried to help her, but she didn’t really want it. And the more I tried to be there for her, the more she pushed me away. She would have these bouts of depression where I couldn’t get her out of bed to get to class. I would miss class to stay with her, and it would start this cycle of self-loathing in her. And the longer things went on, the worse they got. Eventually, she broke things off with me. She couldn’t stand the thought of me risking schooland my career for her. So, she broke things off and pushed me away.”

Her fingers brushed against mine, and at first, I flinched. But as she tightened her grip on mine, I found myself taking her comfort. This was the first time I’d told anyone about why I left culinary school. For so long, I had pushed away my love of cooking because of the reminders. It took a damn long time to allow myself to enjoy it again without feeling like it was all so tragic.

“Anyway, I couldn’t stand to be at school without her. Everything reminded me of her, so I left. I had no idea what to do, so I joined the military.”

“You gave it all up,” she whispered.

“There was no joy in it without her.” I rolled my head to look at her, hoping she would understand my point.

“It’s not the same,” she said, her voice barely audible as a tear slipped down her cheek.

“Isn’t that up to Spencer to decide?”

“He’d be giving up everything for a life of?—”

When she cut herself and turned away from me, I knew I was getting to something big, but that was it. She’d shut me out.

“Audrey, a life of what?”

“Do you really think we can make it home safely for the funeral?” she asked, switching topics and pulling her hand from mine.

Suddenly, I felt lost—completely alone without her hand in mine. I clenched my fist, trying to push away the urge to snatch her hand back and beg her to let me in. It wasn’t my business.

But that wasn’t part of the job. She was a client. “Yeah,” I answered, ignoring the ache in my chest. “We’ve got it all set up. I think it’ll be good.” Shit, that wasn’t the right way to put it. “I mean, it should be fine. No issues.”

“That’s good.”

“We should get to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“I think I’ll stay out here a little longer,” she whispered. “I just want to watch the stars a little longer.”

I should have gotten up and left. That would have been the smart thing to do, but no one ever accused me of being very smart.

27

AUDREY

I wanted him to walk away, to leave me alone to wallow in my tears and broken dreams. Instead, he stayed beside me. His hand rested on the ground just beside mine, and every so often, he brushed his pinkie against mine, letting me know he was there for me.

It absolutely tore me apart.

I didn’t want to cry. I was so over feeling sorry for myself, but finding out about my mom had brought up so much crap that I had never dealt with. But it was time. No matter what Slider said, I needed to let Spencer go. He needed this push to venture out on his own and realize his own dreams. I was prepared for that. I knew it was for the best. I just wasn’t ready for the accompanying heartache.

I shivered as the cold started to seep into my bones. Going inside would be smart, but how many more nights would I have like this? How much longer would I be able to see the stars? I already had a terrible time seeing in the dark. On nights like this, when the moon was out and the stars were bright, I could almost see the sky for what it was and remember what it was like to be a kid watching shooting stars. Soon, that would all be gone.

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