Page 34 of Tactically Acquired

“Fine. When you get kidnapped, the first thing you do is make sure you drop something so someone will realize where you’ve been taken. You know, so they have a location to place you at the scene.”

He quirked an eyebrow at me, so I kept going.

“Then, when you’re stuck in the trunk, you need to keep calm and count the streets you cross and pay attention to which direction you’re going.”

“Not bad.”

“And then when the kidnapper opens the trunk, you should stay calm and not do anything to piss them off until someone can come to the rescue.”

He grunted as I smiled, proud of myself for remembering all that.

“So? How did I do?”

“Probably about the worst way to ever be kidnapped.”

My jaw dropped in shock at his blunt dismissal of my amazing abduction skills. “Why would you say that?”

The man driving chuckled. “Because you shouldn’t have been kidnapped to begin with.”

“Well, that’s just silly. If I wasn’t supposed to be kidnapped, it wouldn’t be a thing!”

“What he means is that if you knew how to handle it—if you have been taught what to do, you would know how to defend yourself to avoid putting yourself in that situation, or how to get out of it if the inevitable happened.”

“Nothing could have prepared me for this,” Spencer muttered beside me.

I ignored him and turned back to the man. “Look, Baldy?—”

He huffed out a laugh. “Wow, name-calling already.”

“I just couldn’t remember your name,” I said irritatedly.

“Slider.”

“Whatever.”

“So, we’ll be back to Baldy in two minutes. Got it.”

“The point is, I followed exactly what I should have done.”

“No, you put yourself in the worst possible situation. First of all, dropping something at the scene? Sure, it might be helpful. You know what’s even more helpful?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow at me. “Screaming and fighting back. Go for the most sensitive spots and fight with everything in you. Nuts are good. Twist ‘em, kick ‘em. Do whatever’s necessary. Eyeballs are good also.”

“Ew!” I screeched. “You want me to stick my finger in someone’s eyeball?”

“Very effective tool,” IRIS said, turning around. “It’s very unlikely the eyeball would get caught on your finger.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that.

“A good throat punch would work if you could pull it off. Hitting a man in the gut is hardly going to be effective unless he’s a puny shit. You’re half a pint and would barely do any damage untrained.”

“I don’t know,” Thumper sighed. “Look at Rae.”

“I said untrained,” Baldy snapped.

“Why do they call you Thumper?” I asked.

“Because I like to eat rabbits.”

“That’s…”

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