Page 51 of North

It’s almost instantaneous, and his words are clear and crisp. I imagine him sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Flu. He’s pretty sick. They’re going to start an IV and give him some fluids, but the doctor said he can’t make the trip today.”

“Obviously,” Rafferty says. “I’ll call Coach and let him know. Assume you’ll take care of him?”

It’s funny, but I had every intention of doing just that without Rafferty asking me to. And yet, the minute he says that I wonder what message it sends to North if I do stay to tend to him. Will he think that implies a deeper level of commitment from me?

And more importantly, why am I even thinkingabout such things? Why am I weighing every fucking action and phrase as if it means I’m being locked into some type of committed prison? I clear my throat. “Of course I’ll take care of him. He’s in good hands.”

“Thanks, sis. I’ll call Coach now. Why don’t you text me any updates and I’ll pass them on.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“And Farren,” Rafferty says, his tone gentle. “Thank you for helping him.”

“No thanks needed. It’s what anyone would do.”

We say goodbye and I head back into North’s room. The nurse is in there starting an IV and he gives me a wan smile. “I called Rafferty. He’ll call Coach West.” I rub my hands together and give an evil cackle. “Now you’re all mine.”

“God help me,” he rasps and looks at the nurse. “Please don’t leave me with this crazy woman.”

The nurse giggles and bats her lashes at North but he’s staring back at me again, his glazed eyes soft with tenderness. “Thank you.”

♦

By the timewe leave, North has perked up a bit from the fluids but he’s still exhausted. His fever is down slightly and I have good instructions on how to take care of him. I manage to get him back into the truck and drive home, my worry outweighing my nerves abouthandling the massive vehicle. Once we’re inside his house, I guide him to bed and tuck him in, ignoring his weak protests.

“You’re not invincible, you know,” I tell him, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “Rest. I’m going to go fill your prescription and pick up a few essentials to nurse you back to health.”

He mumbles something incoherent, his eyes already closing.

I watch him for a bit, torn by a slight panicked feeling. I reach deep to analyze it. Am I scared for his health?

No, not really. He’s a strong guy and it’s the flu. He feels like shit now but he’ll bounce back.

So what is it?

I take him in, his face slightly scrunched as he sleeps, and I want to brush away that lock of hair over his forehead. I focus on that… the inner need I have to take care of him. It’s not something I’ve ever extended to anyone outside of my immediate family. It was a painful lesson I learned long ago to keep all feelings wrapped tight. The minute I’m weak enough to care about something, it means I can’t see the truth of what is really before me. Tenderness, devotion, hope, those are all things that cloud judgment and make you vulnerable for someone to take advantage.

My desire to care for North while he’s sick is putting me at risk and I don’t like it.

And yet, I cannot deny that no matter how tired I am right now because it’s been a long, exhausting night, it feels so damn satisfying to be needed.

Ugh. So fucking confusing, and it disorients me to the point I don’t know who I am anymore.

Finally, I grab his keys and head out the door, forcing all those deep and conflicting thoughts aside.

CHAPTER 18

North

Ifucking hatesitting here on my couch, in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, watching my team take on the San Diego Renegades. I should be there with them, doing my part on the second line with Foster, Atlas, Camden and Hendrix.

But I am cuddled up with a beautiful woman curled into my side. Farren smells amazing, having just gotten out of the shower. And Christ… her skin is so soft that I don’t think I’ll ever stop grazing my thumb over her shoulder.

Okay, maybe it doesn’t suck that bad not being with my team, but I am undoubtedly feeling useless.

I officially got a clean bill of health today from our team’s doctor. I even felt good enough to drive myself to his office for the checkup after a solid two days in bed where Farren catered to my every need.

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