Page 30 of Love Set Me Free

Taking in a deep breath, she moved her gaze back over to Janelle and said, “So much could have been avoided with simple conversations. I should have been honest with you back then about my feelings from the jump, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Janelle’s brows rose in surprise as she sniffled. “I’m sorry too. Mistakes were made mostly on my end, and you have to know I’ve suffered because of it.” She hesitated and then said, “I saw Kydrick, you know?”

Paisley scoffed. “I heard.”

Janelle’s brows pulled in, and then as if realization dawned on her, she put her hands up, palms facing Paisley, and said, “Oh, no. Not like that. I… I took him to lunch. To apologize.I have been holding onto this for a very long time, and my therapist suggested I try hard to have these conversations with you. I was able to tell him the same things I just told you. I… I also told Kydrick that he shouldn’t allow the pain I caused him to stop him from loving again… from loving you.”

Paisley’s eyes widened. “You told him that?”

“I did,” Janelle said with a soft smile and a nod. “I know this means absolutely nothing to you, but I also know you. I don’t care how much time has passed, I know how loyal you are, even to people who you hate.” She chuckled sadly at that and Paisley joined in because she knew Janelle was referring to herself. “You two have my blessing to be together. I’m not going to claim that I’m the reason you haven’t taken that leap over the years. I know there were other factors in place, but for what it’s worth, you can take me and my family out of the equation. Anyone with eyes can see how much you two love each other, and honestly, Kydrick would be a fool not to choose forever with the woman who stood by him through hell and back. I told him the same thing.”

Janelle was right. Paisley was extremely loyal, and though she would never admit it, she had been worried about Janelle’s feelings surrounding her and Kydrick. She shouldn’t have been, but she wasn’t wired that way.

Paisley recognized the weight of the moment and the kindness in Janelle’s words. Her empathy allowed her, for the first time in a very long time, to put herself in Janelle’s shoes. Giving her blessing to her ex and her former best friend couldn’t have been easy, but it was the most selfless thing anyone had done for Paisley in a really long time.

“Thank you,” Paisley murmured before straightening her shoulders. “I can’t promise that we will ever be friends again, but I can promise to stop being so cold to you. I heard everything you said, and I’m thankful that you were the bigger person and reached out so we could clear the air.”

Janelle nodded. “Thank you for being receptive.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Paisley lifted her hand and jammed her thumb toward her car.

“I should get going.”

“Okay,” Janelle whispered, looking like she might cry again.

“See you around.” Paisley turned on her heels to walk away, but Janelle stopped her.

“Paisley?”

“Yeah?” Janelle looked down at her feet as if she was contemplating something. Paisley sighed. “Just say it, Janelle. I see you still overthink everything you say.”

Janelle smiled shyly. “I just don’t want to overstep. I was just going to suggest you do something for yourself by yourself. Take a vacation or… I don’t know. Just do something for you. We all see how hard you push for everyone around you. You’re an amazing person to know… but it would be nice to see you going just as hard for yourself. Take care of yourself.”

Janelle quickly turned on her feet and walked toward the screen door, no doubt rushing away so Paisley wouldn’t see her cry again. She was thankful because fresh tears spilled from her eyes as she watched her go.

Many people over the years had told her similar things, but there was something about Janelle saying it that made it click for her. She chewed on those thoughts as she slowly got into her car, feeling drained from the day and ready to get into bed.

Pride swelled within Kydrick’s chest as he looked out the large bay window in the living room. His brand new Jeep sat in the driveway on the side Paisley never parked on. He’d left work early to go buy it, and he was happy he did. It hadn’t been in his plans when he woke up that morning, but the more he thought about his argument with Paisley the night before, the more he realized how much they leaned on each other, and it wasn’t in a healthy way. Buying his own vehicle was the first step in creating healthier habits between them. Kydrick had to prove to himself and everyone else that he could stand on his own two feet.

“Thank you, Mama and Pops,” he muttered up at the ceiling. Their money had allowed him this first step toward independence and stability, something he’d craved for years now.

The sound of the garage opening halted his thoughts as his gaze focused back outside. He saw Paisley easing her vehicle into the garage, and his heart rate picked up a little. Over the years,he trained himself to not only not show his emotions but to not have any altogether. Paisley had always been that exception, and right now was no different. He desperately wanted to play things cool, but his body reacted to the thought of her, making him feel antsy.

Their argument the night before had been on his mind since it happened. The moment he made the comment about him not needing to run things by her, he wished he could take it back. While they both knew the statement was valid, it didn’t need to be said like that and definitely not in that context. The truth was that Paisley had every right to know what was going on between him and Janelle, which was absolutely nothing. Paisley had the right to have the world at her feet, and that had been his plan when he got out. Here he was fucking up royally. Not only did he take his jumbled up feelings out on her, he added more confusion to their relationship by having sex with her.

He didn’t regret their lovemaking one bit… He never would regret that. It had been the best moment in his life, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake. He’d dreamed of being intimate with Paisley many times, but when he fantasized about it, he always pictured himself as stable and mentally and emotionally healthy. He was none of those things, and he definitely wasn’t ready to nurture a romantic relationship between him and Paisley at the moment. Still, he didn’t want to lose her. He felt like he was caught between a rock and a hard place, and he didn’t know how to wiggle his way out without coming off like an ass.

When the door opened, Kydrick stood to meet Paisley at the door. He knew one thing, he definitely wasn’t going to go another night without speaking to her.

Paisley appeared in the living room before he could make it out, and they both froze when their eyes landed on each other.

She cleared her throat and spoke first. “Nice car. Is it yours?”

The smile that spread across Kydrick’s face couldn’t be stopped. “Yeah, I left work early and bought it.”

“I’m happy for you,” she muttered with a soft smile playing on her glossed lips.

“Thanks.”

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