Page 31 of Love Set Me Free

They stood in an awkward silence for several seconds before they both spoke at the same time.

“I just saw?—”

“I wanted to talk?—”

“You go first,” Paisley said after they chuckled awkwardly.

“Nah, ladies first.”

She sighed and walked over to the couch, plopping down. It was then that Kydrick realized her eyes seemed puffy and red. He slowly walked over to her and sat down. Reaching a hand out, he placed his hand to her face and ginned when she leaned into him.

“I hope those tears weren’t for me.”

She shook her head while still leaning into him. “No. I mean, not really. Kinda. I guess, but not really. I… I went to see Janelle.”

Kydrick’s eyebrows rose damn near to his crisp hairline. Out of all the things he thought she might have said, that was never one that crossed his mind. Janelle had been a touchy subject for them since she cheated on Kydrick.

He placed a hand on her back and absentmindedly rubbed it. “What happened?”

Paisley looked at him with tears in her eyes. “Honestly? We were able to get a lot of shit out. I knew I was angry with her. I knew I didn’t like her, but I didn’t realize how much that anger and hate weighed me down. I feel lighter.”

Kydrick blew out a lengthy breath. “I wasn’t expecting that. You sure you’re okay?”

Paisley nodded absentmindedly before glancing at him. “I realized something else.”

“What’s that?”

“All three of us were so close, but we kept so much from one another. I’m tired of that. A lot of this could have been avoided with simple conversations, and I think we need to start correcting that behavior.” She took in a breath and turned to look at him in the eyes. “I have feelings for you, Kyd. I have for a very long time. Since before you and Janelle started dating, and I’ve held that in this whole time.

“I know by now everyone can tell that I have feelings for you, but it’s still new for me to admit them out loud, and honestly, when I saw you and Janelle at that restaurant, I felt like I was left out of some big secret once again. You can’t imagine how crushed I was when you two told me you were dating. I felt blindsided just like I did the other day. That’s why I overreacted.

“And to tell the full truth, I feel like I’ve been the one standing by you this entire time. It’s been me working my ass off for you, and I would do it a million times over because I care so deeply about you. For you to go behind my back as my friend and see her, the woman who abandoned us both when shit got hard… it felt like a slap in the face. So there. That’s the gist of my feelings, and this is me opening the door for a more transparent relationship between us because I can’t lose you too, not when I finally got you.”

She grabbed onto Kydrick’s hand. A couple of tears fell from her eyes. Her admission had Kydrick’s heart doing a funny dance in his chest. So much hope lived in her eyes, and he didn’t want to snatch that away from her. He had to be honest, though.

“I’m going to say this, Pooh, and I need you to listen to me, okay?” Another tear fell from her eye, almost as if she knew what he was going to say wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear. “You’reit for me. You hear me?” She nodded, but he shook his head. “Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” she whispered.

“Good girl.” He let go of one of her hands and placed his on her cheek. “I want to grow old with you. I want to grow this friendship into much, much more. You deserve the universe at your feet. Everything you have done for me… I can never thank you enough. I can never repay you.

“I want to be with you, but it’s not because of what you’ve done for me. It’s not because you’re familiar or because I’m comfortable with you. It’s because I have watched you grow into the most amazing person I have ever met. I need you to know that.”

“But?” she muttered, looking down at her lap.

Kydrick used the hand that still rested on her cheek and lifted her chin.

“But… I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

Paisley’s shoulders fell. After a moment of silence, she whispered, “Okay.”

“And I think I need to get my own place.”

Her head snapped up at that. “What? No, Kyd. You don’t have to get your own place. I’m not kicking you out.”

“I know you aren’t, but I think it’s best. I don’t want to keep sending you mixed signals, and I don’t want to hurt you because I’m not ready. Just a couple of weeks ago, I thought I would be spending the rest of my life in prison. Everything is happening so fast, and I just need some time. Can you give me that?”

Paisley slowly stood, a couple of tears trickling down her face, and she looked down at him. “You know I always give you everything you want, Kydrick, so do what you gotta do. I’m going to go lay down.”

---