Page 114 of The Soldier

I can barely sleep. I can’t stomach food. I’m fucking broken right now, having to sit back like a little bitch and do nothing.

That’s not who I am.

I’m a soldier.

I stare at the painting on the wall of Josh’s office and tune them all out. Then suddenly I stand. I have to go now or I swear I won’t be able to breathe.

I push up out of the chair and run a hand over my hair, then grab my phone.

“Gotta go.”

“Marshall.” Josh warns deep in the back of his throat.

“If you think I’ll hurt her, then I shouldn’t be wearing this shirt.” I point to the BHS emblem on my chest. “You know me, all of you know me. Trina needs me and I’m not asking anyone’s fucking permission.”

Aidan grins.

The fuck?

“Go get your girl.” Cole smirks. “We’ll bury Miller.”

“Not literally.” Josh rubs his jaw, then waves out his arm. “Go. If it was me I already told you I would’ve burned down the state and told you all to get fucked.”

Now he tells me.

I let out a laugh. “You assholes. By the way there are two spades in my shed if you need them.”

“What did I miss? Who are we burying?” Ryder pushes past me into the room and Aidan shakes his head laughing.

“Jesus we mention gardening tools and all you assholes assume we’re burying a dead body.” Josh runs a hand over his face.

Everyone nods.

“I’ll do a shift, but not the whole six feet.” Ryder drops down into the chair I just vacated.

I leave the idiots and head down to my car.

On the drive over to Trina’s I wonder how she’s going to react to me showing up. It’s now or never. I’m going out of my mind worrying about her.

She belongs in my arms.

I’m old enough to know the difference between a woman I’m sexually attracted to and someone that gets my heart beating in ways that make me want to be a better man.

Beherman.

Not for one night or one month, but for as far as I can envisage. That’s scary and I know it’s terrifying for Trina. But I understand now why she’s so scared and not willing to even commit to a date.

I don’t have all the answers but together we can find a way to be happy. I’m sure of it.

These feelings mean something.

If they are truly just one-sided then I will walk away, but staying away is not an option.

I’ve lain awake at night haunted by those piercing blue eyes of hers and how they reach inside to my soul. How her fingers press against my hard muscles pleading for pleasure, but it’swhen I wrap her in my arms and I feel her soften that our hearts collide.

Trina Thomas is my missing jigsaw piece.

The moment she slid into my life, I knew she could never leave it.

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