Page 56 of The Stars are Dying

We locked eyes, and I had questions about what it meant. How he’d gotten that tattoo that could lead to answers about my own. But his hard expression riddled me with the fear I should always have around him.

“You’re right about some things. I don’t give a damn about your friend’s life, but let’s call mystalkingof you an infatuation. So hate me, fight me—the truth? I want you to fucking despise me. Your anger is my pleasure, your darkness is my light, and I hope you use it without apology to right every wrong you’ve endured, starting with this.”

I didn’t know when he’d inched closer, but his knee met the ground as he leaned into me, and his proximity was a snare I became trapped in.

“He’s dead,” I hushed out.

I realized I was hoping for him to voice what I felt—that the death of the soulless who’d killed Cassia was not enough retribution. Yet I didn’t know what would be.

“So what do you do now?”

That was the question I’d barely had the time to surface but knew would linger in the aftermath of Cassia’s death. What would I do…and where would I go?

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked, having to start with the puzzle of him. Perhaps my fear of him was already trumped by the terror of being alone.

“Because it seems my challenge has become not to kill you, but to keep you alive.”

“So you’re my eternal punishment.”

His finger tilted my chin, emitting an unwelcome flutter. “Wrong again.” He pierced me with those golden irises, and I had nothing left to lose as I allowed myself to become lost in them. “You’re mine, Starlight.”

My eyes fell to his neck, fighting the impulse I’d had before to discover which constellation was tattooed there when only two points were visible. Then there was his scar. A jagged line running from his temple, just missing his eye, to finish on his cheekbone.

“If you want my clothes off, just speak your mind. Or I wouldn’t be opposed to youactingon it.”

I leaned away from him with an awareness like a whip. “I want to be alone.”

“No, you don’t, or I wouldn’t be here.” Nyte rose again, and I stared at him incredulously while he paced toward the long glass window, giving me his sculpted back in the black shirt that was tucked into his pants.

“You seem to have a way of being able to find me if I try to run.”

His chuckle was smoky and sweet like a lover’s touch. “As much as I thoroughly enjoy chasing you, that’s not what I meant.” He took up a side lean against the wall that cloaked him in shadow. Retrieving something that glinted gold, he studied it for a few seconds and then, without a word, slipped it back into his pocket where his hand stayed. He said, “You didn’t step onto that ice because you were running from me.” His tone grew colder, circling like the shadows that became darker around him. “I watched you as you ran, then slowed, then stopped. You saw the ice crack and knew it would break. Never again will you stare down at death and desire to take its hand.”

“I lost everything,” I said. “I have nothing left.”

“Your loss is deep, but you will heal. It will linger, but you will keep living.”

I had no need to counter his words. The wound within me had been split open stitch by stitch and there was nothing he could do to mend it. So I lay back down and watched the fire rage.

“Rest now. When you wake, the world will still be cruel and your heart will still be bleeding, but you are breathing, Astraea. And every breath is a reminder that you live for something.”

16

The fire dwindled to embers I wished I could reignite with my will alone. My tears fell silently down my cheeks. As much as I despised each one, I couldn’t stop; the exhaustion kept me down. I barely slept and greeted the new dawn with reluctance.

Lilith kneeled by the window, muttering quiet words with her eyes closed and her hands clasped to her chest. The sun streaking over her gave off the most ethereal glow. I didn’t disturb her until she’d finished, when she opened her eyes and gave the new dawn a smile.

“Was that a prayer?” I asked softly, unable to raise my head.

There had been times I’d gone months without seeing Cassia and my voice had grown hollow. There was little else that could bring joy like she did. But as I propped myself up, I felt no more than a ghost. This time I would never see her again.

“Yes. To the Mother, who has kept me safe. And to Dusk and Dawn for the safety of their daughter they blessed us with.” She turned to me with such brightness at my interest. “Do you pray to your god? I know some don’t.”

My god…The question only offered more mysteries that eluded me. “I’m not sure who I would pray to.”

Lilith didn’t pass any judgment. She stood, brushing down her light green gown. “The vampires worship their creator, the God of Death. The humans sometimes remember theirs, the God of Fate. The celestials mostly favor theirs, the God of Dusk and the Goddess of Dawn. But most species pray to them for giving us a mortal deity for peace. I don’t believe people are tied to what their birth or creation dictates. And I don’t think the gods would reject anyone’s will to change. For good or evil. The soul of a person has its own free will.”

I didn’t want to weigh down her hopeful expression as she talked of the gods. I was sure they had abandoned us. Or if they still existed, maybe I would curse them instead of worship them and make things worse for myself.

---