Page 10 of Leah

“I can’t live in a world that he’s not in, Mel,” I cried. “I can’t.”

She took me back to the couch and I collapsed next to her. The tears fell from my eyes ceaselessly. I couldn’t stomach looking at the television. Any minute they were going to tell me there were no survivors. It was going to happen, and I was already mentally trying to prepare for something no person could ever really prepare for.

I did something I didn’t even believe in doing.

I prayed.

I’d make things right if he was alive.

I made that promise to myself, and I was going to stick by it no matter what.

I wouldn’t do what I did two years ago.

I’ll make things right.

Four

Two years earlier…

Leah

2011

22 years old

What the hell was I doing here?

Despite looking like a dolled-up groupie, I was a huge mess.

We bought standing tickets in the arena, and we were near the front of the stage. Melanie’s hand was in mine the entire time we’d been standing here, and I was sure she felt my shaking nerves.

I was close to vomiting.

It’d been three years of zero communication, and now I was going to see him sing; something I hadn’t done in the flesh since the bar. I was scared shitless, and it was silly.

Despite being so close to the stage, he wasn’t going to see me standing here among thousands of people. ButIwas going to seehim, and that made my blood race with excitement and my heart pound in fear.

I heard chatter and laughter all around me, and I glanced at shaved heads, Mohawks, and crazily haired women. The tension was thick in the air, and the crowd was growing unsettled as the minutes closed and the show neared. I wanted to tell everyone to calm the fuck down. Their nerves were making mine worse, and I couldn’t act steady if I was in a room filled with restless anticipation.

You’re in a concert, you dumbass. What did you expect instead?

“We’re invisible, Leah,” Mel told me, leaning close enough, her mouth was skirting my ear. “He’s not going to see you! Just relax, okay?”

I nodded just as the lights in the entire arena went off.

I held my breath and stared around in the darkness, hearing the chaos multiply as the crowd began to cheer. What the hell was going on? I squeezed Melanie’s hand even harder, unsure of what was happening. I heard her hooting, like she knew exactly what. My adrenaline skyrocketed as I peered at the stage, trying to focus, but seeing nothing but black.

Black everywhere.

All around me.

All encompassing.

It seemed like it would never end.

Suddenly, bright lights erupted from all around the stage and a shockingly loud sound tore through the air, making me jump. All breath escaped me as I gawked up at the stage and saw Jared and Leo making their entrance, strumming the chords of their guitars in crazy fashion. The crowd lapped it up, waving their hands crazily, jumping up and down as a spotlight then shone over Rome. He started tapping his drumsticks over the drums, and the noise grew louder and louder.

I realized very quickly what was happening. A song was already starting, but where the hell was Carter?

---