Page 19 of Leah

I needed to remain alone.

Opening my eyes, I imagined Leah was in front of me. I imagined grabbing a fistful of her hair, soft and yellow, the strands slipping through my fingertips. I imagined her breasts, small and round, her nipples pink and puckered, her waist tiny, her skin tanned and soft. I groaned, surprised by the incredible adrenaline fizzing beneath my skin as I jacked off. Her body never once bored me. Every time I took her, it had felt better than the last.

"I want to fuck you so bad," I groaned, pretending she was spread open before me now. "I want to slam into that sweetpussy, hear you groan in my fucking ear, make you break from my cock as you come for me, Leah."

I could practically hear her moans in the air around me. My breaths came out harder as my cock hardened impossibly.

I wondered what she looked like now; I hated that I didn’t know and that everyone wanted to keep it that way.

Jesus, I craved her.

I craved the taste of her.

Why did you let her go?

I finally felt that God almighty spark from within. I could almost feel it; her pussy tightening around me as she moaned in my ear, convulsing. Crying out my name from out of those plump little lips. The image in my head was hot enough to send me over the edge.

For a split second, it was a clear vision of Leah beneath me, and I came hard. So hard, I felt aftershocks.

It was a brilliant feeling.

Cathartic.

A gentle bliss humming through my body, warming me with pleasure.

And then—just like I anticipated—I felt alone and empty all over again.

At least you didn’t fuck the groupie.

Yeah, but I came all over the sink, and I wasn’t necessarily quiet about it.

What sought after singer in a famous band masturbated when minutes prior a naked girl was ten feet away, inviting him inside her?

Some would say I was fucked up.

I’d like to think I was jaded.

I rinsed the sink and tucked myself back in my pants before getting out of the bathroom. I was still panting from exertionwhen I fell into the bed, numbly staring up at the ceiling as my heart began to calm down and the white noise settled in.

Alone, again.

Always alone at the end of the night.

Which was a little fucked-up considering I’d been around thousands of people just hours ago. My life was consumed by people in general. Fans left and right. Assholes with cameras. Parties at mansions and chicks clawing to get their fingers into me. It was a never-ending roller coaster ride, and all I wanted to do at the end of a long night was hop off the ride, drink some beer, and watch a little television with someone that mattered.

Mattered.

For a man that did whatever he could growing up to hide his emotions, now all I wanted to do was pour them out of me to someone thatmattered.

Could you believe this shit?

Singing helped. Being on-stage with the guys was a life-saver. It made me lose myself in words thatmattered. It made me feelalive. But tonight was different. Tonight…

I thought I sawherin the crowd.

I felt it.

I feltsomething.

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