Page 138 of Shameless Royalty

Malachi

ThesecondConnor’slipspress against my temple, something inside me cracks. I let out a breath, shaky and uneven, and before I can stop it, before I can shove it all back down where it belongs, the tears slip free.

Silent at first, warm against my cheeks, burning a trail down skin that hasn’t known softness in too fucking long.

Connor freezes. His breath stutters against my temple, his body going stiff, and then—his hands are on my face, cupping my jaw, tilting my head up until I have no choice but to look at him.

And fuck, the look in his eyes is devastating.

Pain, raw and undeniable. Like he feels my grief in his own bones. Like my tears are slicing into him, carving into something deep and vulnerable that he never lets the world see.

“Babyface,” he breathes, his voice rough, uneven. His thumbs swipe against my cheeks, catching the tears, but more spill free; hot and fucking relentless. “No. No, baby, please—don’t—”

I try to turn my head, try to break the moment, but his grip holds firm, his hands trembling slightly as he wipes at my cheeks, desperate and frantic.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,mo stóirín.” His voice cracks on the word, and I feel it like a punch to the ribs. “Fuck, Malachi, you are everythin’ to me. Please don’t cry, baby, please—”

His thumbs keep moving over my skin, his touch so soft, so desperate, like he’s trying to erase every single tear before it can fall. His forehead drops against mine again, his breath shaking, his voice dropping to something softer, something so full of regret that it guts me.

I let out a shaky exhale, my fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt before I can stop myself, holding on like he might disappear if I don’t.

Connor fucking ruined me, and the worst part is that I never stopped loving him for it.

I shake my head, forcing myself to breathe, to steady myself even as my voice wobbles. “You don’t get it, Connor.”

His jaw tightens. “Then tell me.”

I let out a shaky breath before I continue. “You made me feel like nothin’,” I whisper, my throat burning. “Like I was just some—some fuckin’ thing you could pick up and put down whenever it was convenient for you.”

My voice cracks, and I hate it, but I don’t stop. “You meant everythin’ to me. Even when I tried to pretend you didn’t, even when I told myself I was just waitin’ for my chance to leave, you were everythin’.”

Connor flinches like I just hit him. His eyes squeeze shut, his hands gripping me tighter like he’s begging me not to let go.

“I never wanted to hurt you. Never wanted you to feel like you didn’t matter.” He presses his forehead against mine again, his breath uneven, his lips barely moving against my skin as he keeps whispering, as if he can press the words into me.

I shake my head again, inhaling deeply, trying to steady myself. “I didn’t want this.” My voice wavers, but I force myself to keep going. “I didn’t want our love confession to be like this—to be said while we’re both fucking hurting—but…” I let out another shaky breath. “But I knew. I knew I was in love with you the second you risked your father’s anger by getting me my meds.”

Connor’s eyes snap open, shock flickering through them. “What?” he rasps, barely above a whisper.

I laugh, but it’s a sad fucking sound. “Yeah.” I shake my head, my fingers tightening in my lap. “I’m the cliché who fell first.”

Connor stares at me, his mouth slightly parted, like the words just rearranged his whole fucking world. His fingers tremble against my skin, his expression so open, so raw, that I feel another wave of tears threatening to spill free.

I let out a slow breath, composing myself as best as I can, my voice quieter now. “And I want to say yes to you.” I lift my gaze to his, willing him to understand. “I never stopped loving you,mó chroí.”

His breath stutters, and I watch as something softens in his expression, something wrecked and relieved all at once.

“But I need time.” I force myself to keep going, to say the things I need to say before I let him pull me back under. “I need to figure out who I am without someone else decidin’ it for me. I need to breathe, to feel even a little bit of freedom.”

Connor’s jaw tightens, but he nods, swallowing hard.

“I know that’s thanks to you. I know you’re the reason I even have this chance.” I search his face, my chest aching. “But I just need a little time to be myself.”

Connor swallows hard, his throat working, his jaw clenching like he’s trying to stop himself from arguing. But then he exhales slowly, his forehead pressing against mine again.

“Okay,” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper. “Okay, I’ll give you time. But you need to understand somethin’,” he continues. “I’m not pullin’ back my affection. I’m not lettin’ you go. And I’m sure as fuck not hidin’ how I feel about you.”

He tilts his head slightly, his nose brushing mine. “I want everyone to know my heart belongs to you.”

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