Page 24 of Hainn

“No.”

He heard truth in her voice but he could tell there was something else in play here, an issue she was keeping from him.

“I don’t want to get so caught up in the excitement and romance of this trip and the fun and novelty of what we’ve been doing and rush into being mated,” she said in a pleading tone. “I need time to think, to go back to the valley and see how we are together living everyday life. Do we make sense as a couple there too? Or only here in the wild?”

“Mating is soul to soul, heart to heart,” he said, hating to hear himself pleading but he couldn’t fathom not claiming this woman as his mate. “Not whether we can do our daily chores in the fucking valley together.”

“This is the first time you’ve spoken of loving me,” she said, head down.

He tipped her face to his with one talon carefully extended. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time but I was afraid to tell you precisely because I thought you were too skittish after your ordeal of nearly dying and…other things. Do you—can you love me?”

There was silence and his heart stopped.

“Yes,” she said. In a rush she added, “I’m not saying no to ever Claiming each other. I’m saying I need more time to think about it. I wasn’t looking to become a claimed mate.”

“You were when you believed you were in love with Timtur,” he bit out, immediately regretting the words but it was too lateto recall them. He left the bed and snatched up his one garment, the swimsuit, putting it on in a rush. His softening cock made the task easier.

“That’s not fair,” she said, a tear tracking down her cheek. “I wasn’t myself. I was emerging from near death and the effects of the Khagrish life sucking pod. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

He took a deep breath to calm his incandescent inner beast. “Jezari, you’re a beautiful, special woman and I’m not going to walk away from what I think our mating could be. You want time and space, I’ll give it to you but don’t expect me to be happy about it. Not tonight.” Turning on his heel, he walked out of the room, hearing her weep behind him but he didn’t think there was any comfort he could offer her right now. The decision was hers, as the Great Mother decreed and she’d said no to him.

As an honorable Badai, he accepted her refusal.

How did a night full of such promise go so wrong? He walked straight through the outer chamber, ignoring his brothers, who were gawking at him in astonishment and left the cave, going for a long run to soothe himself and his inner predator and try to figure out what his next steps were going to be.

Jezari criedherself to sleep after Hainn stormed out. She supposed she couldn’t blame him for being upset, with her refusing his claim in the middle of making love, but she’d panicked and the one thing she held onto was her determination not to be rushed into a commitment which would last through this life and into the afterlife. She wasn’t going to the valley a Claimed mate. Her sisters already categorized her as impulsive and foolish. Jezari wanted her acceptance of Hainn to be a deliberate, well thought out decision. At least he’d said he loved her. And the way her heart ached this morning she was sure she’d fallen in love with him too at some point.

Maybe she was overthinking all of this but she’d set herself a course of action and she was going to follow through on it.

After taking a quick shower, she dressed in her old one piece swimsuit, unable to bear the sight of the flamboyant bikini today and used a tee shirt for a coverup. She was apprehensive about walking into the main chamber but aside from one or two brothers who called out greetings, there was no finger pointing, no outcry about her spurning their brother. She grabbed a breakfast meal from the nearly empty stasis container and sat by herself at one end of the table, listening idly to the brothers’ conversation.

She knew when Hainn walked into the room from the outside, her inner beast alerting her. The predator was still upset and pacing over her refusal to accept the mate claim last night.

How are you feeling today?Hainn asked telepathically.

Ready to surf for the last few hours.

He came to her part of the table with two mugs of Badari tea in his hands. “Thought you might want this to start the day. May I sit?”

Heart pounding, she scooted over to make room and accepted the tea.

“Vindy reported there’s a big storm out to sea, nothing to threaten us but the waves will be even bigger today,” he said.

“Good thing it’s not my first day then.” Sipping the hot tea she found it sweetened exactly to her taste with honey. Hainn must have paid close attention to how she liked it, which was flattering.

“We each get three runs today,” he told her. “I had an idea I wanted to run by you, see if you might be up for it.”

Jezari raised one eyebrow.

Taking that as agreement, he continued. “I was thinking we could try surfing one together, on the same board. I’m sureit can be done—we both have excellent balance and I think it would be a huge rush. No one else has ever done it or could do it, not with a Badari Daughter on his board anyway.”

Intrigued, she said, “Sounds like fun. I’m game if you are.”

“All right then, we’ll go for it on our third run. If we make it, we’ll sure surprise the brothers.” He laughed and lifted his mug in a salute to her before taking a long drink.

Was he going to simply ignore what happened last night? Jezari was puzzled and unsettled. “Hainn?—”

He laid one hand over hers, clasping it loosely. Just the touch skin to skin made her warm and confident in her safety. “You said you wanted more time. You said you wanted to see how we were in our ordinary lives in the valley. I want to give you everything you need and I want to prove I’m the right man for you. Show you my love.” His eyes were glowing. “I always scoffed at the brothers who found mates and said it was so hard, knowing the woman was their fated mate but she wasn’t falling equally in love with them immediately. Having to woo and win their mate. Well, now I’m there myself and I understand the frustration and I owe an apology to every mated brother in the packs. I’ll do whatever it takes to change your answer the next time I ask.” Hainn raised their clasped hands to his lips and kissed the back of hers before releasing it. “Whatever is stopping you right now, I wish you’d tell me but I’m all in and until you say you can never be my mate, I’ll keep trying.” He rose while she was digesting this declaration and walked away to join the other soldiers.

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