Page 8 of Hainn

“I wish I had your certainty about anything in my life.” Her voice was sad and quiet. “I know our home was a Khagrish lab but parts of it were special to me, like the garden. But I’ve seenthe vid footage from our escape and how the volcano blew the top off the entire mountain. There’s nothing to go back to.”

“You have your memories,” Hainn said, giving her a hug. “Prize the good ones and try not to dwell on the bad ones.”

“Speaking of which,” she drew a long shaky breath. “I’m doing much better now than I was when I called you but do you think there’s anything you can do about my post trauma flashbacks?”

She shifted and he allowed her to move away, seating herself close by, facing him. Hainn held up his hands, allowing a faint healing energy to manifest. “I’ve done this kind of thing before. I don’t know all the details of the lab where you and your sisters were created but in the south Seas the Badari were subject to horrific experiments and torture, testing our limits. Many a warrior was left holding terrible memories and I was able to help them find peace and regain themselves and their strength to endure.”

“Who helped you?” Her eyes were glowing golden in the night and Hainn was touched by her soft question. No one had ever asked him such a thing before. Healers were appreciated and venerated but few concerned themselves with howtheycoped.

“The Great Mother, obviously. And Daegan, my Alpha. He isn’t a healer and his power is totally different but at times he was able to lift away my stress and pain.” Hainn managed a smile. “Everything comes back to the Alphas, doesn’t it? The goddess makes them strong enough to bear the burdens of the entire pack.”

She reached over and stroked her hand down his forearm in a soothing gesture. “Don’t minimize your own strengths.”

They sat in silence for a few moments and then Jezari inhaled sharply and sat up straighter. “All right, how do we do this? Do I have to recline, like at the hospital?”

Hainn found himself disappointed she was done with conversation but he gave himself a mental shake and focused on his power. His hands glowed bright green and tiny sparkles threaded through the fire, which only came out when Jezari was his patient. “No need to recline.” He scooted closer. “If I may put my fingers at your temples?”

Although her eyes never wavered from his, she pulled away abruptly. “You aren’t going to see my actual dreams are you?”

“Bits and pieces maybe but I don’t focus on the details and when the healing is done, I forget what I saw, I assure you.” He was grateful for the way his power worked in this type of situation. Hard enough to take on the pain and stress of another but to have their actual memories and nightmares in his head? Thank the Great Mother for her mercy in how a healer functioned. Humming a paean to the goddess, asking for her assistance, he raised his fingers to Jezari’s face and situated the tips in the proper spots.

She closed her eyes and after a moment he did as well. The wild energy she created in him raced through his body and a stream of jarring images and thoughts poured into his mind, flowing out again in an instant as his gift worked hard to assist her and protect him. Jezari closed her hands around his wrists and instead of annoying or distracting him the skin to skin contact enhanced the connection and boosted his energy.

When she sighed and collapsed in his arms, Hainn broke off his chant and caught her, pulling her close. He’d forgotten how patients often lost consciousness at the end of one of these sessions and fell into a reviving sleep. Carefully he cradled her in his arms and made sure she was in a comfortable position. He thanked the goddess for her help. Jezari was warm and soft in his embrace and Hainn took a deep breath of her unique scent, which was pleasing to him. He’d never found a human as appealing. And when a woman he’d dated mistakenly woreheavy perfume, thinking the Badari enhanced sense of smell would find the scent alluring he couldn’t end the evening fast enough.

Studying Jezari’s face, he found her beautiful in repose and her hair spilling over his arm was soft.

Hainn sat for hours, placing himself in his own version of soldier’s sleep, where he was resting but alert to any change in Jezari or any threat in the environment. Eventually she stirred and murmured indistinguishable words, waking him. He held onto her for another minute or so, until her eyes opened and she stared up at his face in surprise.

“Feeling better? You got some good sleep after all,” he said as he helped her to sit up.

“Have you been holding me the whole time?” she asked, blushing.

Hainn didn’t know what to say so he remained silent.

Jezari rose to her feet and checked the eastern sky, which was beginning to lighten as dawn approached. “I’d better get back to the residence or they’ll wonder where I was.” She watched him stand up and said, “Thank you for what you did and for coming out here in the middle of the night to help me.”

He touched her hair, wanting one last contact between them. “Do you feel safer from the memories now?”

Head tilted she considered his question. “Yes, I think I do. And the uninterrupted sleep was a luxury.”

“Call me any time if the trauma and stress become too much,” he said, hoping she would. He extended his hand. “Want to walk to the residence area together?”

Now she retreated three steps and shook her head. “No offense but I think us doing strolling together would raise too many questions and people might come to the wrong conclusions. You—you have a certain reputation, sorry to say. And I have a completely different one when it comes to healers.”She flashed a smile at him, turned and sprinted away, giving him a wave over her shoulder.

CHAPTER FIVE

Jezari was at loose ends. She’d slept better than at any time since leaving the hospital, held in Hainn’s arms. Thinking too hard about how his mere presence had calmed her nighttime terrors made her nervous. Keshara had no tasks for her today and she didn’t know what to do with the free time, especially with the lake being off limits. Hainn might have quieted her stressful memories but she wasn’t going to pester him again so soon. She also wasn’t remotely tempted to dip a toe into the lake ever again, where once swimming had been her safe place. Going to bed again was unappealing and so eventually she went for a walk and as she was strolling aimlessly, inspiration came to her.

She wasn’t going to get the chance to confront the long dead Director who had created her and done such awful things to her and she doubted she’d ever see another Khagrish if the Alphas could help it but there was one person she could scream her anger at. Mind made up she strode purposefully toward a cave at the far edge of the Badari dwellings.

Guarding the cave where Nindjak, the ancient alien who’d been the original owner of MARL and whose crashed ship she’d been exploring, was considered an honor. The entire cadet corpsrotated on taking the duty. Not many visitors went to the cave but humans weren’t allowed there under any circumstances and a Badari cadet was more than enough of a warrior to dissuade a curious human. Badari themselves could enter the cave but the occupant wasn’t of interest to most.

Just her luck today’s captain of the honor guard was Yonn, the Generation 11 alphaborn. Yonn was perceptive and smart. He might refuse her entry if he suspected what kind of mood she was in. As soon as she saw him standing at the post, the other cadets arrayed at perfect intervals on either side of him, Jezari forced herself to adopt a cheery expression and think a lot of happy surface thoughts. Her inner beast snarled and she harshly told it to be quiet.

“Good morning, Daughter,” Yonn said as soon as she was close enough. He gave her a salute, which she nodded to acknowledge. Eyeing the flowers in her hand, he raised his eyes to study her face. “You wish to view the ancient one?”

“I do.” She cleared her throat and consciously spoke more forcefully. “I’ve never been here and after seeing MARL in a few meetings and hearing Jill speak of how she found him by his late authority’s side, I became curious. It’s a part of Badari history now.”

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