Page 44 of In Step

He grabbed my fingers through the cotton. “It was a joke. In case I haven’t made it clear already, I very much like you touching me.”

I shoved his T-shirt higher and slid my fingers back into the soft crop of dark hair on his chest. His skin pebbled under my touch. The few silver strands caught the light and I fingered them gently. He was beautiful, tight-muscled and defined. Not as much as Judah, a little softer and almost twenty years older, but equally strong, and with that same sense of grace.

“You have an amazing body.” I ran the tip of my finger over his nipple and down the flat expanse of his belly to the silver-streaked happy trail below.

He trembled and his eyes closed. “For an old man, you mean?”

I stopped exploring and went up on an elbow to give more weight to the glare I levelled at him. “Foranyage. You’re forty-four,notseventy-four. It’s beautiful and it has a story to tell. Like that.” I touched the scar above his right eyebrow.

“London Coliseum.Don Quixote. The result of an altercation with a set prop.”

I snorted. “And this?” I ran a finger over the bump on his nose.

“Winspear Opera House, Dallas.The Nutcracker. Collision with another dancer. I took an elbow to the nose.”

I winced. “Ouch.”

“Oh yeah. Luckily it was only a dress rehearsal. I sprayed the stage with blood and needed a ton of makeup to hide the black eye on opening night.”

“Wow.” I shook my head. “See, stories.”

“Just like yours.” He smoothed the scar on my temple. “And they’ve all brought us to this moment.”

I thought about that for a moment and shook my head. “I’m not so sure. I mostly think I’m here in spite of, rather than because of what’s happened in my life. Like maybe I’ve been given a chance to do it differently and stop fucking things up for myself. And others. In what universe does it make sense that I end up working for the brother of the boy I bullied and living next to both of them?”

“In the universe that sees a young boy who fucked up, but who was also fucked over himself. And a universe that sees the promise of the man who survived.”

I stared in surprise. “Do you think that’s really possible?”

He slid a hand around my neck and drew me down for the softest of kisses. “Yes, Kane, I do.”

“Thank you.” I breathed the words against his lips.

“You’re welcome.” He kissed me again. “Now, before I can’t stand myself any longer and have to head down for a shower, can you tell me why you didn’t want me to remove your sweats?” He eyed me steadily. “I like you, Kane, I really want to do this again, but I need to know if there are boundaries.”

Shit.Heat climbed up my throat and I went to pull away, but he tightened his hold. “Stay, please. Talk to me.”

I fell back onto his chest, careful to avoid those shrewd eyes. “I like you too, Abe, but we can’t... you don’t understand... you won’t want...” I sighed and simply shook my head. “I’m sorry, Abe.”

He tipped my chin up. “What are you sorry for?”

I rolled free and onto my back, staring at the ceiling and the stupid line of fluorescent stars I’d stuck above the bed so I didn’t feel quite so fucking alone. I counted them as Abe lay still at my side, quietly watching me. I wanted to prolong this tiny perfect bubble we’d been in, capture the memory for another time.

But when I finished counting and Abe still hadn’t spoken, I closed my eyes and steeled my nerve.

“I’m HIV-positive.”

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

Abe

My heart jolted. I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it wasn’t that, and my first instinct was to wrap the guy in cotton wool and stand over him against all who came.

How much shit could one short life handle? Kane had lost his mother, been abused by his father, taken his pain out on others, been closeted by fear, lacked any close family support, and then this.

My thoughts strangely flew straight to Judah. Even with vast differences between them, the two men had more in common than they could possibly imagine, including being crapped on by life and having a relentless determination and spirit to survive. Judah would laugh in my face at the idea, but that didn’t make it any less true.

Kane remained tense and still at my side, waiting, focused on the playful run of stars above his bed that I somehow knew had been put there by him. There was an innocent, uncomplicated quality about him at times, like he was plugging holes left in his childhood, and it showed itself in things like the stars or the animals that were such a big part of his life. Maybe even in the dancing.

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