Page 5 of Cocky Bastard

Was that what Austin looked like when he fucked me from that angle?

Did it feel as good for the twink as it did for me?

And was the cocky smirk a permanent fixture on Austin’s face?

Fuck, he was such a bastard. A sexy one, but a bastard nonetheless.

I shook my head and flicked back to my email. I’d rather deal with that than watch Austin fuck some beautiful twink who looked utterly blissed out.

It wasn’t because I was jealous—I wasn’t, why would I be?—but because I didn’t need to think about sex. It just reminded me how alone I was.

God, that sounded even fucking sadder than actually being alone.

“Get it the fuck together, Pendleberry,” I said as I finally opened the email from Miles. My eyes scanned the short message, my smile growing wider with every word I read as excitement fizzed in my chest, stealing my breath away.

I had an audition.

I had an audition!

And not just any audition, but for one of the leads in a queer period drama filming in Yorkshire at the end of the year. It was everything I’d dreamed about and more. This was my chance, not just to act but to do something that felt likeme.

I’d been out ever since I was twenty-one, when the record label had finally given in to my pleading. They’d realised I wasn’t as easily controllable as I had been at sixteen, so letting me come out had given me a fraction of freedom… even if it had come with a long list of things I wasn’t allowed to do alongside it.

I’d been held up as their pillar for diversity and inclusion and neatly packaged as the adorable gay best friend next door. They’d even found me a squeaky-clean boyfriend to solidify my image and sent us off to do a few Pride parades and front a few suitable clothing collections, and they’d used our image to sell the most non-sexual, wholesome, and palatable-to-conservatives version of queer love they could.

My “boyfriend,” Luke Yang, had been an up-and-coming actor at the time and although our relationship had been fake, we’d built a really solid friendship underneath it. And we still kept in contact after all these years, despite the fact I’d moved on to acting and him to making the most showstopping cakes in London.

“Get in!” I cried, doing a ridiculous little happy dance up and down the kitchen, shaking my butt in the world’s worst impression of twerking. “I have an audition!”

The phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down to see Luke’s name popping up. I hadn’t been expecting him to call, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t welcome.

“Hey!” I said, still dancing up and down as I answered.

“Hey yourself,” Luke said. “You sound like you’re in a good mood?”

“I got an audition! And I know it’s not really a big deal and it’s not a guarantee, but it’s a fucking audition for something that’s not a cameo of me oiled up and naked, so I’ll take it.”

Luke laughed, the sound reminding me of summer days by the sea when we’d been allowed to be us. “I’m so happy for you. I hope it works out.”

“Thanks, I hope so too.” I let out a long breath and shook my other hand out, trying to ignore the nervous itch in my fingers. “I’m just… I’m trying not to get too excited but it’s hard, y’know? Everyone thinks I’m such a boy band bimbo and this is a chance to prove I’m so much more.”

“Sweetie, you’ve always been more than a boy band bimbo,” Luke said softly, his voice wrapping around me like a warm hug. “And let me know if you need anything. I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks, and the same goes for you,” I said. “Oh hey, you called me. Everything okay?”

“More than okay. I have something very exciting to tell you!”

“Yeah? What’s up?” I asked as I moved from where I’d been leaning against the kitchen island to stick the kettle on before grabbing a faded mug from the cupboard. It’d been from one of the Pride collections Luke and I had done, and I’d never had the heart to get rid of it. I threw a teabag into the mug as Luke continued.

“Guess who got booked to make Rosamund Jones’s birthday cake?”

“Holy shit, seriously? That’s awesome. She’s so cool!”

“I know!” Luke was practically squealing. “She’s having a private party at this exclusive club in London. It’s all, like, afternoon tea,Alice in Wonderlandthemed. Gah, I probably shouldn’t say that… but she came to the kitchen last week with Henry Lu—I think he’s her friend or something. It didn’t look like they were together. Anyway, she’s so fucking sweet and her PA called me today to book it!”

“Oh my God, that’s amazing,” I said, my smile so wide it felt like it took up my whole face. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks. It’s a really big deal and I knew you’d get it.”

---