Page 30 of Cocky Bastard

“I don’t know! It depends on what you already know.”

Austin thought for a second. “Okay then, tell me something about yourself you’ve never told anyone else.”

“Er…” I searched around for a moment, trying to find a memory that wasn’t so embarrassing I never wanted to think about it again but was bad enough that he’d believe I’d never told anyone about it. “Until I was fifteen, I thought Moleskine notebooks were made out of real mole skin.” Austin screwed up his face and I could tell he was trying really hard not to laugh at me. “Don’t laugh! It was a genuine mistake!”

“I’m not laughing,” Austin said, forcing the words out from between his teeth. “Seriously, I’m not. That’s just… only you.”

I ignored the pull in my chest as I spoke. “Thanks, I think. Go on then, your turn—something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Austin tapped his fingers on the table, his eyes roaming around the room as he searched for something. “When I was seventeen, I got shit-faced on New Year’s Eve and nearly gotarrested for public indecency because I tried to take a piss in a bin.”

“That is disgusting but only you would try and find a bin to piss in rather than doing it on the street.”

“What can I say? I’m classy like that.”

I chuckled and noticed Astrid approaching the table again, notepad in hand. “How’re you getting on? Can I get you some drinks?”

“I’ll have a chocolate milkshake, please,” I said and glanced at Austin. “Are you ready to order food too?”

“Be my guest,” he said.

“And then can I have the barbecue bacon cheeseburger, please? With fries, onion rings, and a side of mac and cheese bites.”

“Of course,” Astrid said with a nod as she scribbled on her pad. I noticed her pen was pink. “What about you, Aussie?”

Austin ordered and Astrid promised us the food wouldn’t be too long before collecting up the menus and strolling off towards the kitchen hatch, which was off to one side with a red frame around it. I could see a hint of the busy kitchen behind as Astrid handed a ticket to a man dressed in black, who nodded and smiled.

“When did you meet Astrid?” I asked, suddenly curious.

“At this Saturday drama class my mum used to take me to,” Austin said, looking over at Astrid, who was clearing plates from another table. “She was this weird, funny kid and we clicked. Our mums got on too, which helped, and even when I went off to start filming six months later, we managed to stay in touch—mostly because we both got on shit like Facebook and Instagram when we were really young. For a while we kind of existed around the edge of each other? Like, we’d like each other’s posts and shit. And then when I moved up to York, I realised she was here too and I came to find her. Her wife, Delphi, is from Yorkoriginally and they decided to set up here rather than London. Kinda like fate to be honest.” He grinned. “She’s the same weird, funny person I remember and she’s never given me grief for quitting acting like some people.”

“I like her,” I said. “Anyone who takes the piss out of you is a good person.”

“Cheeky shit,” Austin said, nudging my leg under the table. He grinned and looked around again. “I thought you’d like it here. It’s a bit different from fancy restaurants and high-end clubs.”

I nodded, following his gaze to take in the room again, drinking in every detail I could. “It’s amazing. It feels… normal? Is that the right word? I kind of miss normal, but at the same time I’m not really sure if I know what normal is.” It felt strange to say it out loud, but it was the truth. I’d existed in a protected bubble for so long, I had no idea what the world was like outside it.

“I feel like an alien visiting another planet sometimes,” I continued. “It’s very rare I don’t get stared at or asked for stuff, and I know some celebrities manage to have something like a normal existence—I mean they can at least go to Tesco without getting mobbed—but that’s not always possible for me. I hoped when the band split up things would get better, and they have but…”

Austin reached over the table and casually squeezed my hand. “I get it and it’s okay. You’ll probably never have a life like everyone else’s, especially if you get bigger acting parts, but who gives a shit? We can figure out what’s our normal—fuck everything else.”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “We can.”

Astrid appeared a moment later with two towering milkshakes dripping with whipped cream and sauce, a cherrybalanced on the top of each of them, and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets in delight.

It was only when I was taking my first sip and savouring the rich, creamy chocolate shake that I realised Austin had saidwe—and I’d agreed with him.

I smiled to myself and took another sip.

Whatever this was, whatever we were doing, we’d figure it out in our own time.

Fuck everything else.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Austin

“Hurryup and get your butt over here, Pendleberry. I want a cuddle.” I threw the duvet back and patted the expanse of empty bed next to me, my eyes fixed on the door of the en suite which had just cracked open. Kane stuck his head through the gap and I bit back a laugh at the green face mask smeared across his cheeks. “Hey, Shrek.”

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