Page 70 of Dark Room Junkie

“He wants to talk to you.”

“Fine, but I don’t want to talk to him. Since when are you on his side?”

“He almost wet himself when he asked me to help him.”

“So what?”

“Just hear him out. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

“You know what happened last time ...” I couldn’t say more because Alex appeared next to me.

“Hey, everyone.”

He sounded way too casual. In contrast, I stiffened as if my blood had turned to ice.

“All right then.” Tom tugged at Pablo’s sleeve. “We’ll take off now.”

“Very mature,” I said, annoyed.

“No need, because today you’re the grown-up. And tomorrow I want to hear what you guys talked about here.”

I rolled my eyes, but Tom winked at me with a broad grin. Pablo raised his hand in farewell, then they left me alone with Alex. As I turned to him, I was relieved to see him shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

He seems nervous.

We remained silent for far too long, but I just couldn’t think of anything smart to say. Instead, I felt that attraction to the man again. The polished Alex was long gone. Not only had the heat of the concert left its mark on him, but he also looked exhausted. Sweat-drenched strands of hair fell into his face, and together with the stubble, he looked debauched and dangerous. He was so hot and had been one of the reasons I had fled before the gig. I had barely managed to restrain myself from taking him with me and pouncing on him in the bathroom.

Shit, man!

I think I would have even let him fuck me. It was as if the barrel of control I had to keep from falling apart before the gig had suddenly overflowed, and I was ready to hand him the reins. In the bathroom, I stubbornly refused to jerk off. I kept myself together with all I had and tried to figure out how to avoid him and not fall into his trap.

Fuck! Tom!

“Do you really tell him everything?” Alex asked cautiously.

I sighed and hung my head. “He’d like that, but even I know what decency is.”

“I ... um ... I’ve been thinking about what to tell you for the past few days, but it all seems so ... meaningless. You were so good tonight. I’m very impressed.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

“What happened was just a ... slip-up. I don’t need the stuff, but you inspired me back then ...”

I returned to memories in the darkroom, where Alex had spent the whole night developing pictures of me he had taken while I slept.

“Sorry, Alex, but whatever you’re hoping for here, there’s nothing.”

“I know you feel it too.”

His confidence returned at once, unsettling me. It made him incredibly attractive. And yet, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had taken a line. I knew the signs all too well, but he had already deceived me more than once.

God! What are you doing? You can spare yourself such thoughts! You don’t even know how this whole thing with love works.

Alex took a step closer. “Tell me you feel it too.”

“What?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“This. Between us. What was. It was real. You can’t deny that.”

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