Page 35 of Five Things I Love About You

We eventually have to pull apart, and Kirstie peers at me.

‘Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?’

I wipe my hand across my cheek and it comes away wet. ‘Sorry, it’s just so good to see you both,’ I say, my voice wobbling.

‘Oh, darling, it’s good to see you too, but it has only been a few days.’ She’s smiling and I smile back.

‘I know. I’m being silly. It’s just weird, being here all alone.’

‘But you’ve made a new friend already, haven’t you? Matt?’ Sophie says.

I feel my face flush and look away, but not before Kirstie notices. ‘Iknewthere was something more going on with this Matt than you’re letting on!’

‘There isn’t!’ The denial is more emphatic than I mean it to be and I shake my head. ‘He’s just a friend.’

‘But…?’ Kirstie isn’t giving up.

‘But nothing. In fact he’s been helping me look for Jay. Which iswhat, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re here for today.’ I cross my arms over my chest.

‘Ah but?—’

‘Kirstie, don’t be a pain,’ Sophie warns, elbowing her in the ribs.

‘Fine, fine, I won’t say another word.’ She looks round. ‘Shall we get out of here?’

We find a taxi and chat all the way to the skydive centre on the outskirts of the city. I’m so thrilled to have them both here that all nerves about what we’re about to do are forgotten as the taxi meanders its way through traffic onto A roads. It’s not until we pull up outside that the terror hits me again, and this time it feels like I’ve slammed into a concrete wall, all the breath leaving my body.

‘Oh God, what am Idoing?’ My whole body is shaking and it takes all my effort to climb out of the car. My legs feel like they’re made of rubber and I take a couple of deep breaths as Sophie tries to talk me down.

‘Come on, M, you’re going to be fine,’ she says, her voice soft as velvet.

‘It’s all right for you, you’re not doing it,’ I snap, and her face falls. ‘Sorry.’

‘No, you’re right, Kirstie should be the one talking you through this. I’d rather gouge my own eyeballs out with a teaspoon than throw myself out of a plane, I’m just here for moral support.’ She steps back to allow Kirstie to approach me.

‘Come on, Mirand, you can totally do this. Honestly, it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. You’ll shit yourself for a few seconds, but when you land on the ground you’ll want to do it all over again.’

‘I doubt that,’ I mutter, but her words reassure me. It’s not as though I’m throwing myself out of the plane on my own, there will be someone with me. And these people are professionals who do this all the time. It will be fine.

Keep telling yourself that, Miranda.

‘Anyway, you’ve forgotten the most important thing, which isn’t the skydive itself. It’s whether these people know who Jay is.’

‘Yep, that’s today’s main mission,’ Sophie agrees. ‘And I’ll be asking around to see if anyone knows him while you’re up there.’ She points at the sky. ‘So just try to relax and have fun.’

Easier said than done.

For the next hour or so there’s no time to worry as we listen to a lengthy safety briefing, are introduced to our instructors, given detailed instructions about the dive and, finally, are handed our equipment. There’s a real mix of people here, including a man who must be approaching seventy, a rotund woman around my age, a couple of overexcited twenty-somethings, and a super-fit middle-aged guy who’s enjoying talking about the previous skydives he’s done. I roll my eyes at Kirstie as he slips it into the conversation yet again and she pulls a face at me. I stifle a laugh.

Finally, it’s time to get on the plane, and as we walk outside and see it waiting for us on the tarmac my stomach rolls over. I stop dead.

‘What are you doing?’ Kirstie hisses as she walks into the back of me.

‘I can’t do it. I’m going back.’ I start to turn away but she grabs my arm.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve got this far, what’s the point of chickening out now?’

I shake my head. ‘Look at it.’ I point at the plane and she follows my gaze. ‘I can’t…’

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