Page 50 of First Puck

I shifted my focus back to my oatmeal.

“Because I don’t want my first time to be with someone who doesn’t love me, okay?” I rushed out. “And I don’t know if we’ll go that far. I just want to explore something with someone, that’s all.” I shrugged, but a little smile crept onto my face, happy that Brad was actually responding to me like this. “I haven’t really done this kind of thing with anyone before, so I just want to see where it goes.”

Or that’s what I decided to tell Brad. Lance and I ran through a list of potential questions Brad and Tommy might ask us, and we came up with vague answers for each one. Enough information that it was still the truth, but only a few morsels so they could make their own assumptions.

Lance called it ‘strategy’ and I called it ‘lying,’ but it seemed to be working.

I tried not to look at Brad when I said it, but I still saw his face fall out of the corner of my eye.

Was he really so disappointed that I was still a virgin? Why did it matter to him?

At least Brad’s pause meant my trembling had calmed down enough that I could turn and face him.

“You’ve never had sex before?” he asked, his voice hushed.

“No.” I shrugged off my awkwardness. “It doesn’t matter, though, does it? I just want to find the right person first.”

I knew it was dumb and romantic to want the person I loved to be my first time. But it had felt so special before, in my parent’sgarage, on our couch. Where we both really connected and I didn’t want him to let me go.

And so, he threw me away instead.

“But, like, never?” Brad said slowly.

I frowned at him, opening my mouth to confirm it before he cut me off.

“Never ever? You mean, you haven’t fucked someone before? Like, even in the ass?”

I knew since we were kids I couldn’t predict anything Brad would say, but he always rattled me with things like that.

I pressed my lips together, taking a second to make sure I didn’t snap at him before I replied, “That’s what ‘first time’ means, doesn’t it?”

He’d somehow edged closer, and the tension which had been squeezing me thickened as he inspected me. It was only when his gaze traced the lines of my neck and collarbone did I figure out what he was looking for.

His serious look was burning me up as he leaned in.

His breath swept over my chest, and I instinctively craned my neck back away from him.

I should have held my ground, but his toes knocked against mine as he moved in and his presence hovered like a blanket of warmth. One more inch and he’d be there; his chest would press to mine and maybe the tension that was sealing up my throat would finally be released.

My ass dented the counter as I shifted away from him. I wanted him too much for us to be trapped in this space together. We did it every morning before practice, but it was different when all of Brad’s attention was on me.

I’d always been taller than him, but it felt like he was rearing over me. He had this strange expression, which grew even odder as he reached out and circled my wrist.

My fingers were too tight against the corner of the counter, cutting into my palms, the kitchen shrinking as he crowded my space.

All I could see was him. There was only his scent, only his touch, and the sound of his heavy breaths as his thighs met mine.

“Alex,” he said, his voice low, “have you really never had sex before?”

“Yes, Brad, for God’s sake, why do you keep—”

But he didn’t let me finish, because the moment I said his name, he dropped his shoulders, jerked forward, and kissed me so hard I moaned.

Brad

Holy shit, I just couldn’t…

I couldn’t stop.

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