Page 1 of My Pucking Life

1

We're all standing around Roman in stunned silence. Even the forest seems to hold its breath.

Roman furrows his brows and huffs out a breath of disbelief as he stares at the woman who is claiming to be his sister. “What did you just say?” Roman asks slowly. There's a bite in his words, but it's not anger. It's pain.

She shakes her head, her dark hair mimicking the movement, silently begging to not have to repeat herself.

I can see it now as my eyes continue to volley between Roman and this strange new woman. If you weren't paying attention, it would be easy to miss the small similarities.

“How…how can this be?” he asks, his voice lower and softer than before.

She finally looks up with tear-filled eyes, clearly gauging the situation before her. “I'll tell you everything.” Her mouth opens, releasing a small hitched sob. “I'll answer any questions that you may have,” she whispers, tears now running down her face with hope reflecting where they had been collecting in her eyes.

I take the single step left between Roman and me, only to place my hand on his arm and let him know I'm here. We all are.

He swings his stricken face to mine and holds his hand over the one I have resting on his arm. He then takes a moment to take in our small group. Our family. Everything we've already overcome to get to this place. The pain and confusion slowly leave his features, replaced with resolve and determination.

He turns and offers her a curt nod. “Yes. You will. But not now.” He gestures to the forest around us. “There are more pressing matters.”

“Boss…” Dolos trails off. Something seems to be bothering him. Something other than the death and destruction surrounding us, but I don’t think Roman notices before he moves towards my soul-brother.

“Khaos, this is your land. What do you want us to do? We’re at your disposal.”

Khaos is staring across the devastation when we join him on the edge of the clearing. It looks like something out of one of those old war movies my dad liked to watch. A few trees have been uprooted, and there is smoke drifting out of a couple of homes, but the worst part of all of this is the lives lost.

We were so easily distracted by something that, for a moment, we were able to forget that Khaos lost almost his entire pack. There are bodies of all shapes and sizes strewn across the earth, and my heart clenches in my chest as the tears return and slowly cascade down my face.

“I’m so sorry I brought this on you.” I cry because this is all my fault. Just like all of the other bad things that have happened in my life...in their lives...It’s all because of me. “No,” is all Khaos says for a long time. Still staring at the loss of his pack, he continues quietly, “The only beings responsible for this are the ones that ordered the attack and the ones who carried it out...We will find them, and we will stop them.”

I can’t help but swing myself around Roman and barrel into Khaos’ arms. “I know you say that, and deep down, I know you’re right, but I still feel responsible. What can we do?”

He doesn’t answer. I can’t imagine the thoughts flooding his brain. The pain surrounding us is nearly visible to me, and I didn’t even know these people. These families. These souls. What he must be feeling as their Alpha must be unbearable. All those broken bonds. All those souls lost.

“Roman, do werewolves have special traditions for death?” I want to be sure we honor those that were lost in the most appropriate way. I know that when I was traveling the world with my parents, there were a few tribes or communities that we stayed with that also had special ceremonies in place for the loss of life.

He nods solemnly and guides me away from Khaos to where our small group is scattered around waiting for orders. Slate is watching the twins watch the woman…We didn’t even get her name yet. Andrei is watching Roman and me while Benny is walking towards us.

“Yes, we do. It’s called a funeral rite. It’s been a long time since we’ve performed one of this size, but, first, we have to build a bed of trees on the earth and then lay the dead on top of it. After that, we gather around and sing a prayer song to the Moon Goddess. We then finish the ceremony by lighting the trees and bodies on fire. This releases the souls to ascend to the Moon Goddess until they are allowed to return to the realms,” he explains softly.

It sounds tragically beautiful, and my heart aches at the thought. “So, we need to gather the trees first, then…” I start with a wobble in my voice.It’s time to be strong, Leera. We have to push through this.“All right, boys, let’s put all these muscles to work. Andrei, can you stay with Khaos and help him with whatever he needs?”

He nods and moves to join Khaos.

“The rest of you are with us. We need to clear an area to lay the trees,” I barely finish when the men around me chime, “Yes, Luna.”

I stop in my tracks and look around at our broken little family.

I hate the way life has battered us since I arrived in their lives, but I’m thankful that we have each other, and at least for now, we’re all safe.

It took all day, but we got everything prepared. The sun will be setting soon, and Khaos’ pack has been collected and gently placed together on the large bed of trees. The trees and logs used were the downed trees from the attack, as well as what was left of any homes. We also extended the pyre across the bloodied lands in an attempt to cleanse the earth from the evil that occurred here.

We’re currently all standing together on the edge of what will soon be a very large fire. We’re quietly waiting for Khaos to be ready to start the prayer song. Roman taught me how to sing the song in their ancient language and translated it for me so that I could participate as well. The tears have already started to collect in my eyes while we wait.

Khaos begins, and we all join in. The feel of their ancient language feels strangely familiar as it rolls off my tongue. The words also morph into howls here and there as we croon through the words.

With these flames,

We beseech you,

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