Page 81 of Advanced Chemistry

I jumped off the bench. “Are you seriously leaving?”

“Yes.”

“You’re walking away, just like that?”

“I would, but you’re blocking my exit.” Chase’s objective stare was back on his face, but I wouldn’t forget what was lurking underneath.

“You’re done? You’re seriously done?”

“What other options do we have, Sebastian? This doesn’t work without Anton. We don’t have Anton. Hence, it doesn’t work. Maybe we can be friends in the future, but for now, it’s best that we go our separate ways and find a way back to our normal lives before things get even messier.”

“I don’t want to go back to my normal life! My normal life was pining for my friend. It was feeling this gaping hole of loneliness. It was thinking that I was permanently fucked up because the first man in my life bailed on me. This weird, illogical thing that the three of us have is worth fighting for.”

Newfound surge of life filled my lungs. Dammit, I loved these guys. I wasn’t letting them go so easily.

I jabbed my finger into Chase’s chest. “Now you listen to me. I don’t care that you were my teacher. I don’t care what people walking down the street will say. I’m not giving up. You may use your stuffy overly formal language, but I’ve seen you at your most vulnerable, Chase Mathison, and you are scared,terrifiedof this uncharted emotional territory. Guess what? I am, too. But I’m not going to hide. I’m not going to run. Fuck, I’ve been doing that forever. We both have.” I pushed Chase against the edge of the gazebo. His glasses went askew on his face. “I’m not letting myself get dumped by not one, but two boyfriends.”

I crashed my lips onto his like I was a race car driver with a death wish. Fuck, he tasted so good, his natural Chase scent lingering on my tongue. I pulled him against me, wanting to feel his heartbeat against my chest.

“I love you,” he said in a breathy exhale, his bottled up emotions proudly uncorked.

“Me, too.”

“And I love Anton.”

“Me, too.”

“I don’t want to get hurt.”

“Me, too.”

Chase sighed. “So what are we going to do?”

A bright smile overtook my face. “We’re going to win over the man of our dreams.”

26

ANTON

Iwent over to my parents’ house for our weekly dinner. Dad had decided to grill. The man knew his way around a barbecue as well as he did around an economic forum. It was a lovely late afternoon, one of those rare New York summer days with high sun and low humidity, the days that tricked you into believing it’d be like this all summer long.

Our pool sparkled in the waning sunlight. We had never used our pool as much as we should have. It was mostly a nice backdrop for cocktail parties.

I shucked corn-on-the-cob while my parents discussed the latest current events. Potential recession on the horizon (Dad) and a new novel that received a rave in theTimes(Mom). No mention of the nail-biter of a Yankees game last night. (Me) Their chatter was white noise that allowed me to zone out.

My mind kept flipping back to Chase admitting he had feelings for me and Sebastian. Hell, the guy practically said he was falling in love with us. The fun times were getting serious; I was never good at serious. I was the fun, casual guy. What if my serious relationship side was paper thin? What if he and Seb realized that I wasn’t at their level? It felt like no matter what, I was bound to lose them.

Dad was looking at me, waiting for me to say something.

“What?”

“Have you noticed anything on your end with your business?” Dad asked me mid-burger flip.

“What? Yeah, uh, I mean, business has been good.” I wanted Mom and Dad to know that I was taking my business seriously. This was not helping. “What was the question?”

“Have you seen any impacts that could foreshadow an upcoming recession? As someone who works with offices, have you heard of any layoffs?”

I shook my head no. One day, when my head wasn’t filled with thoughts of two hot guys, I would be able to have a real conversation with my folks.

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