Page 90 of King of Clubs

End things with him or I will take care of him.

My fingers trembled as I went to exit the thread, freezing as the screen shifted and three grey dots appeared. My sudden intake of breath piercing the otherwise silent bathroom.

They were typing.

I grabbed hold of the vanity with one hand to steady myself. My eyes locked on the screen as the seconds ticked by waiting for something I wished would never arrive.

I was never going to be free.

I’d been crazy to think running away from my problems was going to end the control, confinement and chaos. And now I’d brought someone else into my mess. Someone I truly loved. Even if I hadn’t admitted that to anyone other than myself.

I’d changed so much since the first time I met Seb. In the best possible way.

I was stronger, braver and found myself seeing a future I never dreamed possible. He was my baseline. He grounded me and brought me the stability I so desperately needed at a time when I was an untethered buoy floating out to sea. There was no way I could let anything happen to him because of me.

The screen lit up and as my eyes scanned the words, a heavy stone sank in the pit of my stomach and I knew the choice was no longer mine.

It was too late.

The only option now was to face this one alone.

My time to tell Seb had passed – shattered – gone.

My mind raced with fear. Confusion. Betrayal.

How did I miss this? I should have trusted my gut every time I felt that spine tingling unease, the uncertainty and the eventual fear whenever we spent even a minute or two alone. I should have read between the lines of the offerings and noticed the strange coincidences which I excused.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I splashed my face with water before straightening my shirt and moving for the door. Pausing, I thought about how I was going to need to remain calm if I was to manage this alone. How spontaneity and impulsivity was not going to be what I needed right now. I needed to be methodical, thoughtful and pragmatic - as Sebastian always was. I’d seen it enough in him to emulate it now.

I was tired of this fear. I was tired of looking over my shoulder. I was tired of someone else dictating my life. I was going to sort this out today regardless of what happened, and I was going to do it myself because there was nothing left to lose.

A reality which, for the first time, didn’t feel so terrifying.

I couldn’t call on Sebastian because he had Eva, his mother, Cooper and his business to think about. As much as my heart was screaming for me to call him, to call Arna and Andy, to call the police or to simply walk out and let Brad and Sof know what I was about to do – I wouldn’t.

Because today was the day I found my strength. Today was the day I took the reins and it wasn’t something I could do with someone holding my hand because I got myself into this and I would get myself out. No one I loved would get hurt because of me.

Gabriel pushed off the wall as I left the bathroom and her face scrunched with concern.

“You don’t look very good, Mar.” I felt tears behind my eyes, threatening to push forward at the thought that I may not see this beautiful, kind, compassionate girl again. Taking her tiny hands in my own I bent down and looked her in the eye.

“I don’t feel very good. I'm actually going to go home. Do you think you can clean up the things from breakfast without complaining?”

“Fine. But only because you're sick,” she huffed and I smiled.

“I also need you to promise me something.”

Promise me you won’t ever allow someone to take your strength. Promise me you will keep fighting even on the darkest of days,I thought.

“Whatever you want, Marlee, I promise.” She was grinning and I bathed in the innocent lightheartedness of her face. She was brave and mature but was still able to hold onto her youth and I had no doubt that she would go on to be a fierce advocate for herself and others.

Leaning in I whispered to her and then tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. Her brows dipped in confusion, but she nodded.

“I adore you, Gabs. Thank you.” She ran off to help with breakfast and I grabbed my bag before heading into the kitchen to apologise to Brad about having to leave early. I avoided Sofi who was still setting up in the recreation room as she would see straight through my facade – a risk I couldn’t afford.

My phone buzzed.

1 minute.

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