Page 49 of Stay With Me

She shrugs and tilts her head toward one shoulder. “Yeah, I guess so. It’s fun, imagining it all coming together. It’ll be much more fun than doing my house.”

I furrow my brow. “Why’s that?”

“I’m just fixing mine up to sell it. I’ll get to come back here and visit my masterpiece sometimes.” She winks at me. “Now come on, let’s go heat our Chinese food and eat before you get hangry.”

“Hilarious. Everyone who’s ever met you knows you’re the one with anger issues if you don’t stay well fed. Me—I just like to eat. I don’t turn into an ogre if I miss a meal, unlike someone else in this room.” It’s clear from my tone that I’m teasing her, and I’m happy we can have this light banter.

I make my way out to the hall, Emily following behind me and laughing.

Ten minutes later, we’re nestled on the couch in front of the fire, eating our dinner. We sit quietly for several minutes until Emily speaks.

“So, something happened at work the other day.” Emily’s voice trembles a bit.

Though I suspect she’s trying to sound casual, I know her well enough to pick up on the minor change.

I glance over at her and she’s looking down at her food. Not wanting her to feel pressure to look at me while we talk, I look away. That slight quiver in her voice tells me she’s at least a little uncomfortable with what she’s going to tell me.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“A new teacher at school asked me on a date.”

Now I’m the one uncomfortable. I knew from accidentally overhearing about it the other day through our friends, but I guess I didn’t expect her to bring it up.

“Oh. And… um, what did you say?” I’m trying to keep my voice normal, but even to my ears, it sounds unusually quiet.

A sarcastic laugh erupts from Emily, and I glance back over at her. She places her food down on the coffee table and turns to look at me. “I didn’t answer him. In fact, I panicked and ran out of the lunchroom, then hid on the floor in the kindergarten bathroom, crying.”

I set my food down as well and give her my full attention. Even hearing her say something made her cry upsets me.

“You were crying?”

Now Emily releases a throaty laugh. “I tell you I hid on the floor in a miniature-sized bathroom and you’re most worried that I was crying?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course that’s what I’m worried about. I don’t care that you were on the floor, sunshine. I care you were upset. I don’t ever want you to be sad. The thought of you crying makes me want to crush something.”

The few feet between us suddenly seems too far, so I move closer to her. She glances down at her hands, which are clasped together on her lap. Without thinking, I reach over and tuck a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, and she looks up, smiling sweetly. Her smile is so devastatingly beautiful.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

She wiggles herself into place even nearer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. I’m guessing it’s so she doesn’t have to look at me while she talks about it, but I’m not complaining.

“So, it happened on our lunch break. And logic would say I got upset because I’m not ready to date again yet. But that wasn’t what upset me. It’s because, right before he asked, he glanced down at my left ring finger. When he did, the fact that he wouldn’t find anything there slapped me in the face with my reality—I’m a widow at twenty-seven years old. And even if Teddy hadn’t died, my marriage would have still ended. What a shitshow my love life turned out to be. Maybe that’s because something is wrong with me.”

She quiets, and I wait patiently, sensing she has more to say. It’s killing me, though, not to tell her immediately that there’s not a damn thing wrong with her.

“I spiraled. I think it was a panic attack. There was dizziness, nausea, and I was so shaky. It felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.”

I reach down and squeeze her hand. When I move to release it, she wraps her delicate fingers around mine, not letting me go.

“How’d you get it to stop?” I ask.

“I used my resource team.” She’s so matter of fact about it, I assume that is some sort of intervention team at the school.

“Wow. That’s pretty cool that the school has one of those. Are they volunteers, or paid staff?”

Emily lifts her head off my shoulder and leans away from me. When I glance at her, she’s smirking.

“Oh, they totally work for free.” She has that gleam in her eye she gets when she’s messing with me. She pulls her legs onto the couch cross-legged and positions herself, so her body is turned toward me. I relax further into the back of the couch and turn my head to her.

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