Page 98 of The Secret Of Us

The day passesin a muffled blur. I don’t listen in any of my classes, I don’t pay attention to what homework is being set or when it’s due, I don’t eat anything at lunch even though Amelia and Chloe get all my favourite foods.

When school ends, my feet don’t carry me to the dorms but instead to the playing fields. The football team are running around the pitch and Luke watches them with his arms crossed, his head moving back and forth as he follows the ball.

I look at the empty spaces where Noah should be. I imagine him running next to Josh as they make secret signs so they know when to pass to each other. I think about him rushing over to me while I wait on the sidelines, taking five minutes to have a sip of water just so he could linger near me. When the whistle blows, my heart speeds up in anticipation, waiting for the moment he’ll find me and we can walk back together. It slows again when he doesn’t appear.

Josh approaches me, a halfhearted smile on his face.

“How are you doing?” he asks, and I’ve never seen him be this serious before.

“Not good,” I tell him, honestly. There’s no point hiding it when it’s obvious to anyone who can see.

“I miss him, too,” Josh says. “I managed to see him this morning before he left.”

“Did he say anything about me?” I’m desperate for anything I can get.

“Just told me to look out for you.”

I nod, biting my bottom lip to stop my chin from trembling. Deep down, I know that Noah cares for me, and that he must be hurting way more than I am. But it still doesn’t stop the ache in my chest at hearing what he said to Josh.

“I’m here if you need anything,” he says. “I don’t know exactly how much help I can be but it’s the least I can do for both of you.”

“Thanks,” I tell him.

Then, Josh hugs me for the first time in our friendship, and it’s oddly comforting.

“I’ll see you later, Izzy. Take care of yourself,” he adds, as he walks away.

I give him a half-hearted wave right as an arm is slung across my shoulders.

“My favourite sister, what brings you here?”

“I’m your only sister,” I say, shrugging out of Luke’s hold. I move so I’m facing him.

“Technically, Violet is my sister now, too,” Luke says. Sometimes I think he forgets that he’s not actually Isaac’s brother. “Answer the question.”

“I came to see you actually,” I tell him, and regret it instantly when a smile lights up his face. “Don’t get too excited, it’s for selfish reasons.”

“What do you need?” he asks, his smile dropping slightly.

“How much Korean do you know?”

“I’m pretty fluent. Why?”

I exhale, wondering how I can ask him without revealing too much.

“Noah came to see me yesterday,” I say. “We talked for a bit and then just before he left, he said something in Korean, but I don’t know a single word of it.”

“Can you remember what it sounded like?”

“Not really, I just know it started with an S sound,” I tell him.

I wish I could recall it properly, but I was too tired to realise what was happening. Noah thought I was asleep so it’s not like I could ask him to repeat it either.

Luke presses his lips together in a thin line.

“There’s a lot of words that start with that, Izzy. If Noah said it last night, I’m sure he’ll say it when he comes back.”

I want to push him for a better answer, but I knew it was a long shot before I even came here.

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