Page 42 of Ruined Vows

So I swallow and nod tightly. I don’t want to make tonight any harder for him than it already is. No doubt his dad is watching his every move, too.

Finally, we get to our seats, and I can finally pull away from my mother’s touch. But our little name cards on the table have me sitting next to her, and I just can’t.

I quickly reach down and swap Drew’s for mine so I’m sitting one place away from her with Drew in between as a buffer.

Drew looks surprised but pulls out the chair for me like a gentleman, then pushes it back in once I’m seated. He sits beside me and I finally let out the breath it feels like I’ve been holding the entire time my mother was touching me.

“You okay?” Drew leans over to ask. I so appreciate it when he checks in with me like this.

I give him the first genuine smile of the evening. “Better now.”

He nods and smiles back. It’s one of our little shared smiles as our eyes connect. But it’s only for a moment before he goes back to being the politician and schmoozing everyone at the table around him, including my parents.

I relax in my seat. This is one of the best things about being with Drew. I don’t have to beonvery much when I’m beside him because he’s so good at this. Doing the society thing. When I’m Drew’s girl, it’s fine to just be the quiet mouse beside my handsome boyfriend and let all the light shine on him. People expect it, even.

Except… he’s not going to just be my boyfriend for much longer. Or my fiancé. He’ll be my husband. And then my whole life will be…

I look around the room at all the glad-handing rich people around me. Mostly white faces greet me with a few tokenized representations of folks forced to conform. I shudder a little. What started out as a way to shield myself from the worst of my mother’s narcissism is starting to feel an awful lot like complicity. This place looks nothing like my diverse everyday life at the university, where it’s more like… ya know, the real world.

My breathing threatens to seize. I never could handle these things very well. I spent half of them bent over in a coat closet, clutching my chest and heaving for breath, sure I was about to die as I wheezed for my next gasp of air. Drew was the only one who could ever help calm me down, but tonight I’m not sure even he can help. We aren’t kids anymore.

I reach for my champagne flute and down a healthy swig. I canfeelmy mother’s eyes on me, but she’s too far away to kick me under the table, so I take another big swallow before setting the glass down. A waiter immediately steps forward to refill my glass.

Oh yeah. Keep ’em coming.

Getting plastered is one way to deal with anxiety since I forgot my beta blockers back at the hotel. Maybe it’s not the ideal way, but hey, I gotta work with what I got. After another long sip, I do feel my breathing begin to relax.

My face is probably becoming flushed, but I canalmosttake a full, deep breath. Or at least I would be able to if not for the ridiculous corseting it took to be able to fit into this nightmare of a dress. Beige lace, I mean, really? Who designs this shit? I look like I’m a throw on some couch at Pottery Barn.

“So, Kira, dear, you must be so excited about the wedding!” says a smiling woman across the table. Mrs. Price is only a few years older than me, blonde, and hugely pregnant. She’s sitting beside her much older husband, who is one of Drew’s father’s biggest donors. “Maybe by this time next year, you’ll have some even happier news to share.” She deliberately puts a hand on her belly.

I choke on my last sip of champagne, and Drew pats me on the back.

“We can only hope we could be so lucky as you and Mr. Price,” Drew cuts in smoothly. “When is the blessed occasion?”

Mrs. Price beams at Drew, then looks lovingly at her husband, a man who must be at least twenty years her senior, if not more. “Just another few weeks now. This will be our fifth.”

“Yourfifth?” I gasp. “That’s—”So many!When the fuck did he start knocking her up? When she was in diapers? “A dream!” I smile with my teeth.

“I know,” the woman enthuses. “I just love hearing the pitter-patter of little feet around. Isn’t that right, Bob?”

“What?” the man beside her asks, then waves his fork from where he was spearing some sushi that’s been put down as an appetizer. “Oh yeah. The kids are great.” He smiles at Drew. “All boys to proudly carry on the Price name.”

Mrs. Price rubs her belly. “We’re hoping for a girl this time.”

“What?” Mr. Price barks. “Five strapping boys will be just the ticket. Finish out the pack. I had all brothers and look how I turned out.” He gives up on the fork and picks the sushi up with his fingers, shoving it in his mouth with a loud slurp.

Mrs. Price only gives the barest look of distaste before smiling back at me and Drew. “Are you going to settle in the neighborhood? It’d be great to have some new faces around. New…” She looks up and down the table of mostly older couples. “Energy.”

She looks back at me expectantly.

“Oh, well, we haven’t talked about where we’ll live—” I start, but Drew cuts me off.

“Certainly, we’ll live here. There’s no better spot in Dallas than Highland Park.”

My head swings toward Drew, my mouth dropping a little. This is news to me. I was lying when I said we hadn’t talked about it. “But I thought we’d discussed”—I glance around the table at the eagerly listening ears and lower my voice—“about living closer to the university.”

Drew stops the sushi roll halfway to his mouth. His eyebrows lift in surprise. “Well, that was before, honey. Now you’ve only got another year left. I thought you’d want to be in a safer neighborhood where we can start a family.”

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