Page 49 of Ruined Vows

It’s my job to protect her, right? All my alarms are going off in this place. If I was doing my job, I should be punching himin the face, throwing her over my shoulder, and carrying her fireman-style the hell out of this toxic, unsafe place.

Instead, I’m forced to impotently follow behind like a watchdog. But my time will come. I can feel it.

Her fire won’t be contained for long. She’s too big for this place, too bright. You stifle a fire if you put it under a dome, and I get the idea she’s been trying to burst free for a while now. I vow that I’m gonna help in every way I know how.

SEVENTEEN

KIRA

I seethe face of the boy I loved for so long in the features of the man who now stands before me.

Drew is as handsome as ever, with his sharp jaw, smooth skin and artfully plucked eyebrows. He still plays basketball on the weekends, I know, and his tall, lanky frame is well-muscled. I’m not surprised women like Becca still lose their minds for him, just like they did in high school.

We’re finally outside. I called an Uber because I can’t stand to drive home with Carol’s spy listening in to my every word. Drew clutches the arm I gave him with a desperation that feels familiar. I feel the echoes of my love for him, and it makes my chest ache.

“You know I didn’t mean to embarrass you in there, right?” Drew asks. “Nothing’s changed between us. I wantyouto be my wife. You know that, right? Kira. Tell me you know that.”

I nod and try again for a smile. “I know, Drew.”

Drew’s standing so close in front of me that he’s crowding out my vision of everything else. The mansion. Everyone inside. There’s only Drew and the night sky.

But I can still feel Isaak somewhere in the background. A pillar of sanity and protection in the confusion of emotions Drew always stirs up in me.

“Tell me you want to be my wife. Tell me you want me for a husband.” He squeezes my arm slightly, and I can feel him shaking.

I swallow. The teenage girl still inside me urges me to give him what I know he wants to hear.

“Please, Kira. I need you.”

I remember how much I used to love hearing him say that and I nod, my stomach clenching and twisting in on itself. My whole life, all I wanted was to be wanted.Beingneededby Drew was even better than being merely wanted, right?My teenage brain has tried to desperately convince me of this for the past year.

“I want you to be my husband,” I say, but it feels hollow even as it comes out of my mouth.

Drew breathes out in relief, his grip on my arm relenting. In this moment, I see that all he cares about is the words. He can’t see beyond my surface to the pain churning just beneath.

But then, he never could, could he?

I keep looking up at his handsome face. What does he see when he looks at me? Does he even see me?

Or does he just see an object that makeshimfeel better? Has he ever once seen me at all? The me that I really am?

“Why do you want to marry me, Drew?” I ask suddenly. “Are you even in love with me?”

He blinks in confusion, and I continue, on a roll now. “I know we agreed that we could sleep with other people. That’s not what I’m talking about. Sometimes, I care about that, but most of the time, I don’t, which should be telling. But I want to know if you’re in love with me.”

He blinks some more, shaking his head. “Kir, why are you talking like this? I want to be with you. I thought that was what you always wanted? I’m here.” He touches his chest. “Ready to be with you.” He takes my hand in his, fingering my engagement ring. “To put my wedding ring on your finger and claim you in front of the whole world.”

I feel a little speechless, and it’s only after swallowing that I manage to speak. “You knew I always wanted to be with you? In high school, that whole time, you knew?”

His blue eyes search mine, and he nods.

“But then why didn’t you—” I feel my brow furrow. “Why did you just let me keep—” I swallow and look at the sidewalk under my feet, embarrassment and shame sweeping through me. “God, I feel so stupid.”

“No,” he says, finger lifting my chin so I look back at him. “It was sweet. It just wasn’t time yet. But now it is. In two months, we’ll stand in front of all our family and friends, and I’ll claim you as mine.”

I scrunch my forehead. “Why now? Why do you want me now all of a sudden?”

He chuckles. “It’s not all of a sudden. I meant what I said during the toast inside. I always knew we’d get here. We were meant to be together. Our parents literally worked out our engagement when we were little kids in the sandbox. It was written in the stars.”

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