Page 51 of Swallow Your Sorries

“I don’t care,” I say, though I sound unsure. “I’ve dealt with much worse, and being an outcast is nothing new. I’m not here for friends or Gant. I’m here to become a better dancer. To get opportunities. If that means being a loser for senior year and being hated by everyone, then so be it. I have goals.”

“Being a loser is the least of your worries,” Aria says, pulling a rolling bag out from beneath her desk. It’s framed like a box, but it’s covered in cloth and I can only assume it holds her ice skates. “But I won’t pretend I don’t understand the greater good.”

“Admirable,” Stassi says, blowing out a breath. “Stupid, but admirable.”

As I eye both girls, I’m struck with yet another thought. “You said the boys weremaleroyalty here. What about the girls?”

I already have a good idea who they are, and it hasn’t escaped me that I’m sharing a room with them.

“Me, Aria, and Rin,” Stassi says. “Mostly because of our relation to the boys.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m an ice skating darling, remember? One of Beaulieu’s living trophies.”

“And maybe because of our sports rankings too,” Stassi relents. “Rin’s a little like Gant. Her family gives massive donations to the drama department, plus she’s an overachiever. The bitch is good at almost everything.”

“Besides being likeable,” Aria snorts.

“So do you follow the boys’ vendettas too?” I can’t meet their gazes, but I want to know. Is this whole conversation just to prepare me for what’s to come in the one place that should be my haven? Our room?

“We come up with our own verdicts, despite what the boys think,” Aria says. “After hearing your side, I’d say I’m neutral. For now. Rin though, she’ll fuck with anything just for fun. The facts don’t matter.”

Stassi looks just as surprised at Aria’s stance as I feel. “Then why did you tell Gant that she was our roommate?”

The hair raises on my arms and suddenly I feel just as vulnerable as I did in the shower.

“Two reasons. One, he probably set it up that way and wanted to see if we’d confess unprompted. Two, so he’d think I was on his side, and he’d keep his trap shut,” Aria says, wheeling her bag to the door. “He knows where I was last night.”

“Where?” Stassi asks, leaning closer.

“Where were you all summer?” Aria rolls her eyes, which shuts Stassi up. Then she looks at me. “Don’t get confused though, we aren’t friends, and sharing a room doesn’t suddenly make us besties. But… I must say I’m intrigued.”

That surprises me even more.

“You’re the only girl that’s ever gotten under Gant’s skin and that must count for something, right?”

“For something,” Stassi agrees, though I don’t think either girl, nor myself, knows what thatsomethingis.

“The way youlickedhim,” Aria shakes her head with a wicked grin. “And he just let you.”

“I think he was just in shock,” I mutter.

But Aria shakes her head again, faster this time. “No. Heletyou.”

Whatever that means.

“Legend,” Stassi says.

“Thanks?” I whisper weakly. It isn’t exactly an alliance, but at least I could be somewhat comfortable in my own room.

Aria turns the doorknob, and the muted voices drifting from the other doors remind me just how much of a haven I need this room to be.

“I’m going to the rink.”

“Do you want me to—” Stassi’s words are cut off by the door slamming. Sighing, she grabs her purse, mumbles, “latte run,” then leaves.

I wait until I can’t hear her footsteps anymore, before sinking into my pillows under the covers.

Then, I ugly cry my heart out.

---