Page 199 of Swallow Your Sorries

Her lips snap shut, her throat bobbing.

“That’s what falling in love does. It ruins the degree. It throws you off-kilter, but you enjoy every second of it until things stabilise again.”

“That’s just it. Nothing can ever stabilise between us.”

I knew it.

My heart thuds as if her words have just knocked it back into beating. Because I knew she thought of me from her pins and saves of Gant knockoffs. From the little soft-core GIFS she watches beneath the covers. But the fact that a lack ofushas her this despondent, this upset, makes something rush through my veins and not just to my cock. Blood. I suddenly feel warm-blooded.

I’ve felt cold for so long.

“You’re thinking that far ahead?” I ask, a smile pulling at my lips. “About the real world?”

Did losing out on the role of Cinderella trigger all of this?

She squints at me and shakes her head slowly. “You really don’t get it. No one at this school gets it unless they’re on a scholarship. I can’t play these stupid games with you because I don’t have the resources to fuck around like you do. To get distracted like you can. You know what your future’s going to look like as an Auclair. I’m no one. I told you, you have a net. No matter how painful it may be when you fall, something, someone, is there to catch you.

I have nothing, including time. I didn’t get the role in this play, so that’s already one opportunity down. My focus has to shift to the Christmas production. Not how to beat you. I need to strategize my next move and my next move is landing a leading role or working at the fucking deli. So go play intimately with someone else and just go back to having your minions waste resources some of us are dying for. Just because you can. Just because it makes you feel better. For an hour.”

She goes to step out of the tub and I call after her. “Elle?”

To my surprise, she freezes, turning back to me with scrunched brows and a snap in her tone. “What? Seriously fuckingwhat,Gant?”

“I told you you were mine. My doll. Did you think that would stop once we leave Beaulieu?”

She snorts, then chuckles. “You can’t take me with you.”

“I can take my doll wherever I want.”

“Are you forgetting about your father? The man that blamed you for the leak even after you proved it was me? How do you think that’s going to go over when you’re toting your ‘doll’ around in public?”

“My father’s irrelevant when it comes to my dating life.”

Dating. Girlfriends. I’ve never had one.

I’ve never wanted one.

Until now.

“You say that now.”

“I’ve said it since forever.”

“Until you need his business. His company. His money. His last name and I’m not shaming you for it. If I could swap my last name for one like Auclair to ensure my safety, and my future, I’d do it in a heartbeat. So don’t even think about bitching about how you don’t want it because some of us would fucking die to have it.”

Swapping her last name…

Eloisa Auclair…

“I won’t bitch. No one likes the poor little rich boy spiel. Even poor little rich boys. I get why you’re thinking this way. I understand it completely.”

“You do?” She looks genuinely surprised.

“I do.” Even though I’ve completely discarded it. “What I don’t get is why any of that matters. You say you don’t love me. You say there is no future outside of Beaulieu’s little bubble—”

“I don’t want a future with you. I’m just stating logistics.”

“Unserious relationships don’t need to consider logistics. But you are, and it all goes back to that little word you deny so much.”

---