Page 72 of Bear's Heart

A dark weariness swept over him as he drove the ten miles back to Marietta.He was exhausted in a way he hadn’t been since first moving from the hospital to the rehab facility and he had to learn how to do everything again, so daunting when just learning how to transfer to a wheelchair from a hospital bed had overwhelmed him.It wasn’t just learning how to navigate the transfer, it was the specific muscles that needed strength, the confidence that he could do it, the realization that his legs would never be able to support him again.There would be no steps, no running, no speed—not unless his upper body could do it for him.

He knew he was lucky to be a para not a quad.He was lucky that eventually he’d have independence again.He was lucky that he had a woman who loved him, a woman who’d support him.

Until Savannah couldn’t be that woman, unable to handle the changes, unable to see a future for them now.

She ended the engagement and didn’t disappear from his life completely, just slowly weaning herself off, finding comfort with others since he couldn’t comfort her the way she needed.

He was the one who told her she didn’t need to come see him anymore when it was clear to them both that she didn’t like visiting him, that she spaced the visits out, from every day to every other day, and then every three days, and then just once a week.

She said she had work.She was playing at the Bluebird.She was writing music.She had to go into the studio and cut a new track.She had an excuse for everything.And she expected him to understand.She expected him to be okay with her disappearing on him and he was, he supposed, provided it just stopped.

No more uncomfortable visits.No more pecks on his cheek.No more stilted conversation about his rehabilitation.She didn’t like the rehab facility filled with men in hospital beds with wheelchairs at the sides.

And then there was the time someone asked for Savannah’s autograph as she left.He was a male nurse and he recognized Savannah, having seen her at different venues, and he’d bought one of her CDs after a show.

Savannah, who had barely smiled at Bear that visit, now glowed with gratitude, and took the time to visit with her smitten fan.It was then Bear knew they were done.He wasn’t angry as much as resigned.They’d been through so much together, but the stress had driven them apart instead of bringing them closer.

Bear parked in front of his house, his boxy, plain little house with the beautiful interior, a space Josie had labored over to get it just right for him.

He swallowed, his eyes hot and gritty.He felt like hell.His world had shattered again.His chest seized, everything tight and hard.

It was over.He and Josie were done.

Chapter Fifteen

Bear had returnedfrom his trip to Clyde Park unusually quiet and withdrawn.Josie couldn’t get two words out of him.He set his keys in the bowl on the narrow hall table, simply disappeared into his room and stayed there, claiming he had a headache and just needed some time in the dark, alone.

Josie couldn’t leave him alone, though, not when she was worried.She rapped lightly on his closed door.“Bear, I have some ibuprofen and water.It’ll help you feel better.”

“I don’t want anything.”His voice was a growl from behind the closed door.“I just need some time.”

She heard something different in his voice, something dark, something sharp, and it made her afraid.What had happened while he was gone?

She finally forced herself to leave his room, but it felt awful leaving him when he was in pain.He’d been fine earlier.He’d left the house in a good mood.He’d kissed her before he left, and he’d lightly touched her cheek as he smiled into her eyes and called her his sweet girl.

It was hours before Bear emerged from his room.Josie had made herself a turkey sandwich and nibbled on half even though it tasted like cardboard.She hated feeling anxious, but she was worried for Bear, worried he’d hurt himself, worried that something was broken or causing him terrible pain.

She was sitting on one end of the leather sectional in the living room when he rolled into the room.

“We have to talk,” he said.

His tone sent an arrow of ice straight through her.“Okay.”

He positioned himself across the room from her.He didn’t transfer to his recliner, but sat forward, his big forearms resting on his knees.

He didn’t speak for a long minute and then he lifted his head and looked at her, no warmth or emotion in his eyes.“This isn’t working.I’ve known it for the past few weeks, and I was a coward and didn’t say anything, but I can’t hide from the truth anymore.We can’t continue like this.”

It was even worse than she thought.

Josie gripped her hands in her lap, fighting for her composure.“I don’t believe you.”

“You should.”His tone was harsh, blunt, brutal, and he didn’t look away, he just stared into her as if she was nothing at all.

“What happened, Bear?What did I do wrong?”

Bear growled deep in his throat.“There’s nothing wrong with you.This isn’t because there’s something wrong withyou.It’s because there’s something wrong with me.”

“Because you can’t walk?”

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