Page 83 of Love, Rekindled

Because I’m a coward and I can’t bear the idea of hurting you later, so I’ll do it now.

“I’m not. I’m just illuminating you into the reality. It’s why I told you I was onlyshowingyou what a date was, I wasn’t actually dating you. I will never be serious about a woman again, so if that’s what you’re looking for...move on now and save us both the wasting of time.”

Her eyes narrow. “You’re kidding me, right?”

My heart is breaking as I look at the hurt that flashes in her face. “No, I don’t know whatyouthought we were doing. I was very clear from the beginning.”

She steps forward, hands balled in fists, and I pray she hits me. Not that it would be anything like the pain I’m feeling by doing this.

“You’re right, Ben. You were crystal clear. I’m so sorry for my mistake, it won’t ever happen again. Feel better.”

Gretchen turns, trying to hide the pain in her eyes, and walks out the door, leaving me in more pain than the bullet wound in my shoulder.

CHAPTER 17

Gretchen

Heartbreak is such a stupid word.Hearts can’t break, but they can ache. And that’s what mine is doing now.

I know it’s in there, still beating, because the aching that’s coming from my chest has me sobbing.

Catherine drove me home without asking many questions. She just told me whatever I needed she’d be there for me—like always. I don’t know that I could’ve said a word without breaking out in tears. I needed to stay quiet because then I could bottle it up.

Today, the bottle can no longer be contained.

I thought I had it together. I really did. But it’s been two days and I can’t stop the tears from falling.

“Gretchen, I’m worried.” Catherine’s voice is soft. “You weren’t like this after...” I look up, but my eyes hurt to open. She sighs and then continues. “I’m saying that you were up, not lying in bed like a lump after your wedding was cancelled. Yourwedding, Gretch! To a man you were supposed to spend your life with and you spend a few weeks with Ben and you’re a mess.”

“I’m fine,” I say defiantly.

“You’re not.”

“Okay, I’m not, but I will be.”

Even I don’t believe it.

How did Ben wound me so deeply? I thought we were more. I thought he could be everything. I was so ready for a life together and now...I’m alone.

She sighs. “What happened?”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Well, I don’t believe that, but tell me so I can decide.”

I roll over, pulling the blanket with me. “I really need to learn not to sleep with guys I work with. Shit! I’m going to be unemployed again.”

I really liked this job. It was fun being around Mark, Natalie, the other SEALs and...him. There is something really unique about the way their company works and I was finally revising all their contracts to actually benefit them. Plus, there’s still the whole shady lawyer who seems to have disappeared.

Now what the hell am I going to do?

“You’re not going to be unemployed.” Catherine rolls her eyes. “If anyone will be, it won’t be you. I can assure you of that.”

I don’t want Ben to lose his job. He needs it much more than I do. “Don’t even think about letting anyone go.” I grip her hand.

“Okay. Just talk to me. I’m here and I want to help.”

“And say what? Say that I was a fool who thought there was something there? I was so desperate to be loved again that I deluded myself that his fake dates were real? I wanted him so bad that I truly believed we made love. I thought each kiss was more than just him giving me a fucking gauge on what I should want from a man.”

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