Page 30 of Dark Notes

Finally, there’s a knock at my door and my pulse races, knowing I get to hold her for a little bit, before the show. This is what she does to me.

“Hey, baby,” I say as the door opens, but then I see it’s not McKinley, it’s fucking Candy. And I don’t want to deal with her needy bullshit right now.

“You can’t be here.”

She doesn’t listen. Instead, she rushes over and climbs onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck. I grab her hips to lift her off of me when I spot the open door. McKinley stares at me, with tears running down her face, and her hand over her mouth, before she turns and runs.

I push Candy off me, and she lands on the floor as I go after my girl, who thinks she just saw me cheating on her.

“McKinley!”

I race through the halls, but she’s not here. Did she leave the fucking concert hall? I call Jimmy to tell him I want her found. My band all walk out of their dressing rooms. “Ready?”

Jake is the most aware out of them, and looks at me with concern. “What’s going on?”

I tell him and they all look at me with shock, and echo my sentiment, “Fuck.”

It’s Jett that states the obvious that makes me want to punch him in the face. “I’m sorry about your girl, but the show must go on, man.”

As we walk to the backstage area, I keep my eyes peeled for her, but don’t see her. I look in the face of every brunette, but none of them are her.

I call Jimmy again to tell him I want to be notified in my earpiece the second she is found. I’m going to be an unfocused goddamn mess until I know she’s safe.

How the fuck, when I do find her, am I supposed to convince her that she didn’t see what she thinks she did? Normally, when a guy says ‘it isn’t what it looks like’, it’s exactly what it looks like, but not this time. I fucking hate that she thinks I did the same thing that asshole did. When I tell the guys we’re opening withSomething I Can Never HavebyTrent Reznor, they roll their eyes in unison, but I ignore them because that’s what I’m feeling right now. It’s not the fast paced song we normally start a show with. And I know my guys think I’ve lost my mind and I don’t give a shit. Maybe I have.

They know she’s not okay, but I haven’t given them details. I will have to, because they are going to help me deal with the dildo. Right now, the pain isn’t his fault though. It’s mine. I should have thrown Candy out, the second she walked into my dressing room, instead of attempting to be gentle about it.

We walk out to the stage, and the screaming crowd does nothing other than annoy me, as I stare at the spot where my girl should be standing, but it’s empty.

I finish that song and speak to the crowd. “I’m going to do a solo. Is that okay?”

Of course, they cheer. They want to hear us, and they don’t even care what songs we do, as long as we also do the hits. I place the microphone on the stand and grab my guitar, and sing one of our few ballads.Goneis a song about losing someone, and right now it’s my biggest fear. McKinley doesn’t trust as it is and I can’t blame her. And I gave her the perfect reason to never have faith in me. Sure, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but that’s not what she saw. What she walked in on, as far as she is concerned, proves that I am what she first judged me as.

I glance around and spot a dark-haired woman by one of the side doors, but I can’t see well enough under these lights to know if it’s her. I go into the guitar solo, as the crowd cheers with excitement. I want to be into this and normally am, but fuck, I’m not.

We go intoPrimal, and the crowd goes wild. A dozen hits later and it’s still a crowd favorite. I remember watching McKinley dancing to it, and try to get her out of my mind to get through it. When the show ends, there’s no encore. I don’t fucking have it in me. There’s only one thing I’m interested in. Finding her and making this right. Losing her is not a goddamn option.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

MCKINLEY

I watched their show from the side door, because I didn’t want him to know I was here. Like the groupie I clearly am, I couldn’t not watch him. Jagger is always good. He could probably put on a good show in his sleep, but he was different. Like he wasn’t all there. His mind was somewhere else, and I know it was about what I saw. I don’t understand, though, if he wants me so much, why was he with another woman? A pretty blonde with a perfect body. Everything I’m not. I think that’s what hurt the most. Him acting like he loved my body, then the first chance he got he went forBarbiewith the perfect proportions. In one breath, I want to ask him why, but in the next I want to run, and never look back.

Choosing option number two, I make my way to the exit. I put my hand on the door and take a deep breath when I hear his voice.

“McKinley!”

I stand still with my hand on the door, terrified to turn around, because I don’t want to see his gorgeous face again. It’s only going to hurt, but his voice is just as bad.

“Baby, please. Give me five minutes to explain and if you want to leave me, I’ll let you go. You’ll never hear from me again.”

I turn when I hear a woman yelling, “Jagger Wild, I want to fuck you!”

Glaring at him, I shake my head with disgust. “You have someone calling for you. Sounds like you’re busy. Maybe another time.”

He nods to his security guard, and he nods back as if they are having a silent conversation I’m not privy to.

The guard approaches me, and I glare at him. “Do not fucking touch me.”

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