Page 31 of Reaper

There is no way I should feel anything other than hatred for him, after what he has done to me, but if I’m honest with myself, I don’t. After everything he has done to me, why won’t my feet move? I should be running for my life, but I don’t want to go. I run a hand through my hair and pull at the strands.

Nico speaks low, as if it hurts to talk.

“Go, baby. If I lose consciousness, I cannot guarantee your safety. Please leave.”

I walk to the door, my legs as heavy as lead, as I walk away from the most psychotic man I’ve ever known. Tears stream down myface, as I realize I’m never going to see him again. My brain tells me I shouldn’t care, but my heart says an entirely different thing.

My chest tightens as I make my way to the pantry to get my purse. I’m fairly certain if I’m here when his brothers show up, I’m dead. That’s what he meant about not being able to guarantee my safety. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a member of the mafia sparing someone that killed one of their own.

CHAPTER TWENTY

BELLA

One Week Later…

Life without Nico has been odd, to say the least. I imagined I’d go back to my life and things would be normal, but I don’t know what normal is anymore. I’m kind of lost. I sit watching tv while I sip my coffee, when my world is rocked to its core. A special report breaks through the episode of some stupid sitcom I’ve been watching.

“We’ve just learned that Nico Bonetti, better known as Reaper, has been killed in his home. Nico was the son of the late Lorenzo Bonetti, former head of the Bonetti Family, and is survived by his brothers, his sister, and his mother, Lucia Bonetti. He died from stab wounds a week ago. No further details are available at this time, but we will keep you updated on any developments.”

I killed him.

All the air escapes from my lungs, as the coffee cup shakes in my hand uncontrollably before slipping to the floor. This is what I wanted, right? To be free of him forever? To never hear his voice again. Never feel his fingers digging into my skin. Never see that look of desperate need in his eyes. Falling to my knees, I cry out for him, as my world comes crashing down. A strangled sob gets trapped in my throat, and the world goes black.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

BELLA

The excruciating pain in my head intensifies as I open my eyes, so I shut them quickly. Tears slip down my cheeks as I try to make sense of him being gone, but I can’t. My kidnapper. My tormentor. The only man who ever made me feel alive, even though I never would’ve admitted it to him. I should probably be afraid of his brothers coming after me, but I’m not. Right now, I’d welcome them to come and remove this throbbing from my chest.

Moving to a sitting position, I push the tangled hair out of my face and attempt to take a deep breath, but can’t. Even though I told myself he needed to die so I could be free of him, I didn’t mean to kill him. What I can’t wrap my pounding head around is why I miss him so damn much. My body literally aches for the touch of a man that only wanted to hurt me, and it makes zero sense to me.

“Let the darkness in, living dead girl.”

“Nico,” I gasp so loud it nearly echoes, but there’s no response because he’s not here. He’s dead.

Getting off the floor, I grab my phone and turn to google for help. I search for, ‘can you go crazy after someone dies’. I roll my eyes at my phone, when the search engine informs me that yes, it’s common to feel like you’re going crazy after a loved one dies.

Loved one?

Nico was hardly a loved one, but it’s suddenly becoming clear that I never hated him. I wanted to understand him, but I still don’t. His hunger for killing was confusing to me, although if I’m honest with myself, when I killed that man, there was a rush that ran through me. I wasn’t willing to acknowledge it, but it was there. He wasn’t a good man, and according to Nico, he would’ve done things worse than him.

Icould totally be a serial killer if they were all bad men.

“Let the darkness in, living dead girl.”

Why am I hearing his voice? I’m going crazy for sure. Dead people don’t talk to you, unless you’re insane.

“Let the darkness in, living dead girl.”

I scream at him.

“Stop saying that. Just stop. I’m not dark like you.”

“Yes, baby, you are.”

Jesus, Bella. You’re really losing touch with reality here. Stop talking to the dead guy, and his voice will go away.

Yet, he doesn’t. He’s inside my head and won’t stop.

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