I’m not sure how to feel about the fact her health seems to have improved without me and Fi around. Part of me wonders if she’s started using uppers, but after searching the house from top to bottom and flat out asking, I’ve come up empty.
She’s told me I can stop worrying over her and that she feels better enough to cook for herself, but without being able to stop by anytime, I don’t trust her enough behind a stove.
“Yeah, I got it. The only good information you’ve given me is that they have a locked file on the Murphys.” My sister’s voice has a bite to it that strokes the flames of irritation smoldering in my chest.
“Fi. I’ve been there a week. They aren’t going to hand me the fucking keys to their operation because I’ve helped them sniff out a couple snakes. Snakes that the Murphys had no intention of actually getting to Onyx other than to make her paranoid.”
My sister sighs. “I know, Zek. I’m sorry. It’s just Sam said he was giving you three months, and I’m nervous. I’m just glad you’re still alive. I’ve been a wreck.”
I run a hand through my hair, shutting the door to the fridge, satisfied with what I’ve made. “I’ll get the information in the allotted time, Fi. Trust me. It’s not easy working with people and getting to know them whilealsobeing well aware I’m sentencing them to death.”
Even though I didn’t mean to say it out loud, I meant the words. Out of all the gigs I’ve had, all the fucked-up shit I’ve done and the people I’ve met, those in the Embros estate are growing on me.
“Do you like her?”
“No.” My words aren’t convincing, even to me. “But she’s not what I thought. None of them are.” I collapse onto the worn couch, kicking my feet up on the coffee table.
She huffs. “I get that. I’ve started talking to one of the guys that brings me food. He’s nicer than the rest.”
This piques my interest. “Think you can talk him into sneaking you out?”
“And go where? We’d be on the run, forced to hide.”
True. If I tried to bring her and my mother to Onyx, I’d have to explain why. Then we’d all be dead regardless. A sickening knot of dread wedges in my throat. But still, I’m somehow able to keep my voice steady despite the very real notion that there is no winning here. “I love you, Fi.”
“You too.”
* * *
Another week passes in the Embros estate. Another seven days of strained breakfasts passes, heavy eye contact, and watching Onyx in meetings with all sorts of people. If her business wasn’t illegal, you’d think she’s the CEO of a Fortune 500. She’s pure business—cold, calculated, a realist, and uses no emotion to make deals.
She’s all facts and data.
Loss and profit.
Unlike most, Onyx has no tell when she’s uncomfortable or frustrated. No hitch in her voice when she’s annoyed or excited. No show of impatience when something is daunting or dull.
It’s incredible to watch—especially knowing how she is when she’s covered in someone’s blood or lost in an orgasm.
Fuck.
I’ve tried not to let my mind remind me of how fucking perfect she is coming undone. And I’ve done well the past seven days. But the more I’m around her, seeing her, being captivated by the sheer power the woman consumes in a room, it’s getting impossible not to throw her ass across the desk and just take her.
“Where’s your head?” Maddy flops down in the seat next to me, her thin finger wagging toward my crotch. “That dick of yours is sticking up through your slacks. Must say, for a guy your size, I didn’t think it’d be as big as you.”
I chuckle but make no move to readjust. No point now since she’s seen it. “Guess it’s been a while.”
Maddy looks at me as if I’ve just told her the stupidest shit she’s ever heard. After another moment of her dramatic gawking, she rolls her eyes. “I gave you more credit than I should have.”
“And that means what exactly?”
“You’re either stubborn or deranged, but whether it’s this or that, you fit right in.” She glances at the clock on the bookshelf. “Two minutes left. Any plans for your day off?”
It takes more effort than I want to admit to school my features and shake my head. “Check on my mom, cook, and maybe go visit some of Onyx’s places.”
“Be safe. I worry about you when you leave.”
“Oh yeah?”