Page 66 of Queen of Madness

“Z, if you can’t see that man is something any woman would lick from head to toe, you are blind.”

Her words fan the flames, and my chest grows hot. It isn’t until Maddy glances at my hands that I realize I’ve nearly cut through the flesh, red angry crescents in my palm acting as evidence of my tight fist.

“Don’t worry. I’d dare to say you look better with that adorable little dimple and your scruffy hair.” She moves to ruffle my already disheveled ends, but I take a step back.

“I think I heard Onyx call you. Maybe you should see if she needs m—you.”

She barks out in belly-rolling laughter. “You’re even hotter when you’re jealous, Z.”

But before I have time to respond, she opens the door and disappears inside, leaving me to chew on the inside of my lip.

After another minute, I turn and walk the long hall, hoping by the time I return, the guy is gone. But as I reach the end, Shi exits a lone door on the side of the hall and grins at me. As grim as she is, it’s always a bit jarring to see how wide her smile can get. Then again, she’s the one I know least from the bunch.

The twins I communicate with daily on check-ins, and when helping them test new weapons. Maddy is literally everywhere, and I eat breakfast with Cat and Russ every morning. Kilo. Well, he’s kind of a hit or miss, but when I do see him flash by, he’s a pretty interesting fellow. Erratic and high as fuck, but fascinating all the same. Shi, however, is a rare sight to see. And even then, it’s all smiles and vague riddles.

“Ezekiel. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Making myself busy, waiting on Miss Embros to finish a meeting.”

“In person?”

“Yep.” I pop the P, and rock back on my heels, trying my best to seem unbothered.

Shi thinks over that for a minute, watching as I awkwardly wait for a reply. “I see.”

“See what?”

She shakes her head, that damn grin frustratingly large. “Nothing. Might I pick your mind and ask you a question?”

My brows rise in genuine surprise. “Of course.”

“What are your long-term plans? Do you plan to be here, as a personal guard, for the foreseeable future?”

I shrug, pressing my shoulder into the wall. Every night, I think about how this will all end. What will happen to me, to her, Fi, and the people I’ve come to know. And each time, it’s always different, only one thing is constant—one of us ends up dead.

Somehow, the heavy weight in my stomach grows bigger, making me nauseous.

I swallow it down. “I mean, no. But I also don’t think I have much of a choice. From the sounds of it, it seems as though she’s going to get rid of her problem soon.”

“She is.”

“So then she’ll have no use for me.”

“What if she still wants you around? Would you leave her if there was no greater purpose than to be by her side?” Shi’s words are slow and drawn out, her head tilted in question.

Unlike the first, this one is easy to answer more honestly. “Hypothetically, I wouldn’t have a problem staying. My life out there has always been about taking care of one problem while waiting for the next to happen. I spent a lot of time being angry and resentful, and here… well, to be frank, I don’t. I have time for things I’d forgotten I enjoy. I’ve opened my eyes to things I thought I’d understood but misjudged. I’ve found contentment I never thought possible.”

But I also feel guilt so deeply embedded in my soul that I’m not sure anything I do will absolve me of what I intend to do.

“I see,” is all she says before her shoulder brushes mine as she walks past. “I’ll be quick. Then you can have her to yourself.”

* * *

It feels like an hour has passed before Maddy and Shi finally leave Onyx’s office, and I’ve gone through an array of emotions I never wish to again. The first of which was annoyance, fueled by the notion that somehow Onyx has soundproof glass doors.

The second and third were envy and intrigue.

And the last was realization over how obsessive I’m becoming.

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