Page 85 of Ruin

Ignoring him, I send a quick message to my dad and throw my phone back into my bag before Declan sees the message from Robert.

Trixie

I’m fine, I'll be home later.

The number of times I’ve thought about telling Declan about Robert has been crazy. I could tell him everything. After what he told me about his summer, which was the worst thing I think I’ve heard in my life. Knowing Cain grew up in that place, I cried. Because of the way Declan was describing it, it sounds worse than hell.

And Declan spent his summer in there, so he and Cain can control it together. I mean there is a lot more to this family than anyone knows.

It being one of the reasons I keep thinking about telling him about Robert, but I also know like last time I told someone, Robert and his mom will both make it look like I’m the one who wanted it. I’m the one who wanted Robert to touch me, and there was never any rape involved.

I know Declan said he’s with me, but how much would he believe my words over both of theirs?

I jump a little when I feel Declan’s lips on my bare shoulder. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, turning me around to face him. “Now I don’t mind you being naked all the time, but I need some food first, and sort this out.” He points to the bullet wound, and I nod a little.

I’m fine. Dad just asked where I was. Told him I’ll be back later.

“Good because after food we’re going somewhere.” He winks, and leans down to give me a kiss. “Now please get dressed, before I spend my whole day here,” he jokes, and walks to the dresser. He throws over a black t-shirt to me. “You look sexy in my clothes.” I stand there for a moment, and Declan stares at me. “Not a mind reader,” Declan looks at me as if he knows I’m thinking something I shouldn’t be.

Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking about what I am. Am I really craving it this much, craving for him to do it?

You…you said every time I come you would…you would cut me. I came in the shower.

I can’t even look at him as I sign to him, because he must think I’m crazy. My sight moves to my wrists which haven’t been touched for two days now, and I’ve had no reason to cut myself. Robert hasn’t touched me, so why would I. But yet, I want to feel the pain of the knife cutting me.

Declan coughs, and I look up at him. “Can you look at me when you talk. So, you like the knife?” He raises his brow at me, and smiles. “So, what do you like about knives?” he asks.

Oh, what do I tell him? I try to think of something which will make him feel as if it’s his fault that I like it.

You still have more letters to carve onto me, and I like you close to my pussy.

My reply makes him smile, which relaxes me a little. He believes me, I mean it is half the truth. I do want him to finish his name on me.

He tilts his head one side to the other, then grabs the knife from the dresser. “Lie on the bed, and open wide for me,” Declan tells me and moves the knife between his fingers.

I drop the towel, and quickly get on the bed, and open wide for him.

“It is a sexy view.” Declan walks to the end of the bed, and puts his knees between my legs. “And you smell so fucking heavenly.” He kisses my clit, which makes me jolt a little, but the moment I feel the tip of the knife on my skin, I relax.

How messed up does this make me? Being relaxed at the feeling of a knife cutting my skin. I take in a deep breath as I feel the skin being cut, and Declan’s lips back on my clit.

“You think I can tease you to the point you come to the edge, then leave you until I get to fuck you again?” Declan asks, as he continues to carve the letter in my skin.

This is what it feels like to get a hit from a drug, craving it so much your body relaxes the moment it hits you. Getting him to cut me, mark me with his name, is like that drug. But once he’s written every letter of his name, how can I get him to continue cutting me a little here and there, without sounding like a fucking freak.

I close my eyes wanting to feel every cut, I take a deep breath in feeling the hot air escaping his mouth, on my pussy, which is already getting wet at the thought of the knife, and his lips on me. God, I’m messed up.

“A few more times to come, and my whole name will be on you forever.” His breath hits my pussy, and he licks me making me moan, but he then stands up and looks down at me. “Either I’m fucking crazy, or very hungry, because I have a sexy naked girl on my bed, and I’m about to walk away. I’m an idiot.” He adjusts himself a little which makes me laugh. “Before the day is finished, I’m burying my face, and dick inside you.”

If you don’t, I’ll have to finish myself.

“Don’t you fucking dare, you’re mine now. Every single orgasm is mine.” How do I tell him that every orgasm I’ve had are his? I’ve never had one with Robert, why would I? I hate him, it hurts, it always fucking hurts. “Come on, let's get food or I’m going to lock the door, and you can fix my wound.” His wounds make me shoot up into a sitting position which makes him laugh. “Joking. I can fix myself up.” He winks, and walks back over to the dresser and throws the knife on top of it.

I get dressed, and follow Declan out of the bedroom. I hear talking downstairs, which means his brothers are still here.

“Look sleeping beauty is awake,” Mason jokes.

“Not my fault you’re the ugly brother,” Declan replies, making them all laugh. He sits down on the couch and pulls me down to sit with him.

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