Page 46 of Love in Pieces

?CHAPTER 17

Abby

Idon’t know what Iexpected to happen after moving in here. I certainly couldn’t have expected I’d be able to go about my business, able to ignore all the complications in my life like they would disappear if I stopped thinking about them long enough. But I think I did. And now things keep getting more complicated. At least they do in my head. And that ... almost kiss. It sent my head spinning. And then I got scared and cursed myself for even thinking about him like that so quickly after ending my relationship with Sam.

I must admit, though, having someone care about me, it feels like a dream. It feels real. But so did Sam at the beginning and look where that got me.

It’s been a week of freedom. Sam is scheduled to return next Saturday. As much as I try to keep my mind from racing back to those “what if” moments, it’s impossible to avoid them completely. I’ve been trying to fully enjoy my newfound freedom, especially having a personal bodyguard, who, I have to admit, isn’t exactly difficult to look at.

I yelp a little when Dallas knocks lightly on the frame of the open bathroom door. The warm washcloth hits him in the chest as he rounds the corner, but he catches it quickly, leaving a damp spot on his white tee.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to say goodnight and thank you for tonight. It was nice to have some company.” He hangs in the doorway, an arm holding the frame above his head. It’s an effort not to watch his bicep flex with the pressure. When I realize I’ve stopped breathing, I quickly shake my head, take the washcloth from his outstretched hand, and fix my gaze back on the mirror in front of me.

What feels like a minute is probably only a few seconds, but it’s long enough of a pause to make things awkward. “Sorry. Um ... You’re welcome. Thank you, too. It was seriously the most peace I’ve felt in a long time.”

He hangs his head, but a soft smile settles on his face. The stubble along his jaw is evident in this lighting.

“Abby?” he asks, tipping his head up.

“Yeah?” I respond, avoiding eye contact. My legs feel like jelly right now.

“You’ve wiped the same spot on your face like ten times now. I think it’s clean.”

“Uh, yeah, I know. I just don’t want to break out,” I lie, wiping again before moving on.

He taps the door frame a few times before dropping his arms. “Okay, well, goodnight.”

“Night,” I say, hoping he doesn’t hear how shaky my breath is, how loudly my insides are screaming right now.

***

It’s been twelve hourssince we almost kissed and my insides still feel like they’re doing flips. The cold bench beneath me is a bit of a shock to the system when I sit down. An empty baseball field stares back at me. The warm sun kisses my skin every time it peeks out from behind a cloud. I’ve been to one other practice before, but to be honest, I was not paying any attention. I was so focused on studying for finals that my head was buried in my computer the whole time. Now that the school year is over, I’ve got more freedom than I know what to do with.

It's been one week since everything changed. And it’s one more week until everything might change again. I shouldn’t get used to this, even if I want to.

The field remains empty for the first twenty minutes while everyone changes in the locker room. I try and fail to keep myself from imagining what might be under the T-shirts and sweats Dallas wears all the time as he changes into his jersey. One by one, they file out from under the bleachers. I find myself searching for Dallas, scanning the names on the back of the white jerseys.

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