Page 191 of Lady of Ashes

“It is me, Tava. May I come in?”

Silence came from the other side of the door and stretched on and on before the door ?nally opened. She still wore the pants and tunic, but she’d removed her boots. Her hair was unbound and loose around her shoulders.

“May I come in?” Callan repeated.

“Of course, your Highness,” she said, stepping to the side so he could enter.

Callan stiffened at the formality. That was not how this conversation was going to go.

He pushed the door shut behind him, watching Tava drift over to a window. He looked around the room, slightly shocked to ?nd various clothing strewn about. Books and papers were scattered across a low-lying table. It made sense, he supposed. This was perhaps the one place she was not required to be perfect and proper. The one place shecouldbe messy and chaotic.

“What can I do for you?” Tava asked, drawing his attention back to her. She had her hands clasped loosely in front of her, back straight.

“First off, we are not going to do this,” Callan said, gesturing between them. “This formal shit is not what we do any more.”

“Make no mistake, your Highness,” Tava said coldly, “if you were not the Crown Prince, I would not have let you in tonight.”

“You let me in because you felt like you had to?”

“Who am I to deny a Crown Prince?”

The words clanged through him. When they’d been said to him before, they had been teasing and mocking from the lips of a brash assassin. But Tava … She meant them.

“You truly believe that? That you are beneath me simply because of my title?” Callan asked.

“Is it right? No. Is it the reality of our world? Yes,” Tava answered.

“Outside maybe,” Callan countered. “But not when it is just us, Tava. Not when we are alone.”

“Why should that make any difference, Callan?” she cried. “Why is it that outside these walls, I am nothing but a womanwho is expected to act a certain way, speak a certain way? I am expected to accept my place? Be given to whomever will benefit from my bloodline the most? Spread my legs and produce heirs to further this entire broken system? Why is it that I have the ability to help those at the bottom and even they do not want my help? What good is all ofthisif I can do nothing with it?” She picked up a porcelain teacup from a small side table, hurling it at the wall. It shattered, shards flying in every direction as she sank down along the wall behind her. Her face fell into her hands, golden hair falling around her.

Callan unclasped his cloak, pulling it off and draping it across a chair, before he slowly moved towards her. He lowered himself to his knees before reaching tentatively for her wrists, pulling them gently from her face. Tears streaked down her face, and he found himself wiping them away.

“Little fox,” he sighed, maneuvering so he sat next to her against the wall. He kept one hand clasped in his, and her head fell against his shoulder. “You have done more good than you could possibly imagine, even if you cannot see it.”

“How, Callan? They will not even allow me to serve them any more,” she said through her tears.

“Perhaps not directly, but because of you, because you took me there and showed me a side of my kingdom I did not want to see, they are no longer forgotten,” he answered gently. “We will make sure of that, Tava. You have my word.”

“There are so many more. Just like them. Not only here in Baylorin, Callan, but all over Windonelle. In Rydeon. Toreall.” She swallowed thickly. “How can no one else care?”

“So incredibly sel?ess,” he murmured, reaching over and brushing hair back off of her forehead.

“I have said before, I am not sel?ess. I simply care,” Tava replied. Then she added, in a whisper so soft Callan almost didn’t hear it, “Sometimes I wish I did not.”

“Do not say that, Tava. You are the standard by which everyone should be measured. Your level of caring is what I strive for. Without you, I would be engaged to a Maraan Lady, and I still do not even know what that means,” Callan said.

“And yet she has somehow still destroyed something I have worked years to build,” she said, and Callan reached over to brush tears away once more.

His ?ngers ran along her jaw, pausing to cup her chin and tipping her face up to him. “What you are doing matters, Tava. What you are doing is making a difference. You may not see it. You may feel like it is futile, but I promise your actions are being felt in a ripple effect. And if you have made a difference in even one person’s life, would you not consider it worth it?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Then know that you have made a difference in mine.”

Her eyes fell closed, and he released her chin, letting her head fall back to his shoulder. He rested his cheek against her hair. After several minutes, she said, “You tried to tell me this would happen. I feel incredibly foolish that I insisted on going.”

“Do not feel foolish, Tava.”

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