Page 28 of Octane

Finally, he lets me go, and it takes everything I have not to collapse onto the floor beneath me.

“Clean this shit up and come to bed so you can show me how sorry you are.”

Giving him another shaky nod, he turns and walks down the hallway to our bedroom. I give myself a moment to steady my breathing before I clean up, not bothering to keep any of the food. I’m not hungry anymore, anyway. Once I put everything else away, I walk toward our bedroom, dread building inside of me the closer I get. Tonight is going to be hard, but it’s nothing that I’m not used to. It’s all part of the vicious cycle that I’ve been trying to survive, being with Daniel.

Round and round I go, like my car on the track. Not knowing if I’ll be able to get out in front of the person who wants to take me down or if I’ll crash and burn within the wreckage.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

SAWYER

It’s been a few days since the incident at the office, and I haven’t seen or spoken to Jackson since. Thankfully, he hasn’t continued calling or messaging since Daniel hasn’t left my side. I was waiting for him to try and tell me that he doesn’t want me racing anymore, but he didn’t. I don’t know why, but I’m not dumb enough to question it.

Just dumb enough to stay with him.

My sister’s voice echoes through my head, but I push it away. I can’t deal with that stress right now. This is one of the last practices I have until my first race, and that’s the only stress I can handle at the moment.

Standing next to my car on Pit Road, I look it over. I’ve got my racing suit on my bottom half, with the arms tied around my waist until I’m ready to get in my car. It gets hot in these things, even in cooler weather like this. We’re all waiting for Jackson to get here before we get started.

My teammates are huddled together, shooting the shit and leaving me out of their discussion, as usual. It’s starting to get easier, though, the longer it goes on. What Colton said to me the other day comes back: They’re my teammates, but we’re racing against one another. Between that and not needing to get into another disagreement with Daniel, it’s better off that we remain distanced from one another.

“Sawyer.”

Speaking of needing to distance myself, the sound of Jackson’s voice startles me. I wasn’t expecting him to be right behind me. And I’m not ready for this conversation.

Turning to him, I smile as though the events of the other day never happened.

“Jackson, hi,” I grin at him.

“Are you alright?” he asks me.

He looks like he’s been through hell, and seeing his worry pains me, assuming it’s my fault. I could have sent him a text, letting him know I was okay, but I didn’t. I look at him like I don’t know what he’s talking about. A look that I’ve mastered over the years thanks to Daniel.

“I’m nervous for my first race, but other than that I’m fine.”

Jackson isn’t easily fooled. He regards me with questioning eyes, telling me he knows I’m full of shit. I can sense that he wants to say more, so I pray he leaves it alone. He cranes his neck so we’re eye to eye and places his hands on my biceps. Before I’m able to stop myself, I wince at his touch just as he opens his mouth to say something. His stare turns cold.

“Did he put his hands on you?”

“What?” I scoff. “No, I worked out extra hard in the gym yesterday. My muscles are a little sore.”

“Sawyer,” he counters, but I barely hear it as my attention is pulled to the stands by a tall figure in a black pea coat.

Daniel is here.

Jackson’s head turns as he follows my stare. With ice in his glare, he turns toward the stands.

“Jackson, I’m begging you to leave it alone,” I grind out through my teeth while trying to maintain a smile to make it look like I’m not speaking.

Thankfully, something in my tone stops him, and he turns back to face me.

“This conversation isn’t over.”

I nod and swallow, anxiety thick in my throat.

“Gather around, team,” Jackson shouts.

The rest of my team joins us, and we wait for Jackson to speak.

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