All while maintaining a smile that causes me physical pain to keep on my face. But Drew still won’t look at me. His aloofness is fueling my frailty.
“Goddamn it,” I hear Josie curse behind me before slamming the phone down onto the bar.
Concerned, I turn around and cradle the wet rag I’m holding in both my hands.
“What’s wrong?” I inquire, genuinely wanting to know.
It's not usual to see Josie without a bright smile on her face, and again I worry I have something to do with it. Even though my fight was with Drew, when I upset one person, my conscience likes to play games with me, making me think everyone else is mad at me too.
She rubs her fingers across her forehead, as though trying to ease a headache, and takes a deep breath.
“That was Cherish. Neither she nor Jade will be in tonight. They went to some diner after work last night and both ended up with food poisoning.”
“Oh no...” I offer while cringing inside.
I’m horrible when it comes to comforting others. I can never think of anything meaningful to say, and my sympathies always sound shallow and forced.
“I know there isn’t really anything I can do to help, but…” I regret speaking up the moment Josie’s eyes catch mine.
“Actually, there issomething.”
I feel my eyes turn into saucers as I fear the next words out of her mouth.
“Delilah, I’ve seen your moves... I stand by what I said yesterday, you belong up on that stage. We need more than just Racquelle, Haven, and Lyric up there tonight.”
Absolutely not.
“Can’t you call Pandora, and see if she can come in?” I suggest, but as soon as the words leave me, I remember she’s away for the week.
“She’s on vacation,” Josie confirms.
“I’m sure the other girls wouldn’t mind making more tips tonight,” I insist. “Besides the fact that I don’t have the guts to do it, Drew would kill me.”
Not to mention he’s already furious with me to begin with. I don’t need to add to it.
Satisfied this final statement will keep Josie from pressuring me further, I turn back to the bar and swipe the rag over the counter again.
“Actually,” she continues, standing next to me and demanding my attention, “I think this situation could benefit us both.”
What on earth is she talking about? I turn my body so I’m facing her and cock my eyebrow questioningly.
“After you left yesterday, Drew was beyond distraught. I was curious what happened, but he locked himself in his office all night and wouldn’t talk to anyone.”
Hearing Josie describe Drew’s demeanor and actions after I left causes the plastic smile I’ve been wearing since I walked through the door to crack and fall from my face.
The sharp pain I felt as I laid on the floor overnight is back, and I rub at my chest, trying to ease it.
“As you know, it was my night to close. So when Drew told me he would do it and I could leave, I cornered him and begged him to tell me what happened between the two of you. I felt … responsible after my comments yesterday.”
Fuck.
Not only do I not want Josie to know what we fought about, I also don’t want her to think she was the cause of it.
“Josie, it didn’t have anything to do with what you said, I promise.”
“I know.” She nods her head matter-of-factly, in a way that makes my stomach turn. Her eyes cast a disapproving shadow over me. “He told me everything that’s happened between the two of you over the past couple days. And honestly, I’m a little shocked to hear what you said to him. Drew works his ass off to ensure everyone feels safe when they’re here. So to hear him admit that he’s felt both shamed and attacked by you two nights in a row...”
Saliva floods into my mouth as the familiar feeling of nausea sets in. As calmly as I can, I swallow it down and mentally beg the acid in my empty stomach to stay put.