Page 18 of Seek & Destroy

He stepped out of the shower after that, and I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

He was right.

* * *

“I honestly don’t getwhy you’re messing around on Kwame anyway. He’s literally been treating you better than those other nigga’s you fuck with on any given day. He even gave you the money to open up another shop on the Eastside. Like, girl, what are you even thinking?” Tania fussed as I lifted the gate to open up my shop.

I rolled my eyes while unlocking the door. We had come a little early to do inventory before my other stylists and clients came in.

“You’re never going to get it, Tania.”

“I guess not. I get ya moms taught you to be savage, but you’re playing this all wrong. Her old school teachings got you stressed the hell out.”

I frowned as I set my bag on my station. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means instead of you letting these men know from the jump that you’re emotionally unavailable, you’re out here giving off the illusion of being faithful and true. That shit is dangerous, and it’s going to get someone’s feelings hurt in the end.”

I sat in my chair and rubbed my temples. As much as I didn’t like what she was saying, she was also right. This was twice in one day someone told me how wrong I was, and it came from the two people I actually cared about. Marc’s confession scared me and gave me the push I needed to end things with him, Solo, and Chris. I hadn’t even thought about the other men I was messing with once Kwame started to become serious with me. And to be honest, they weren’t thinking about me too much either. It was the other three that I couldn’t stop seeing, and it was wrong to play Kwame like that. After the night of the basketball game, I knew I had fallen in love with him. Kwame was everything I never knew I needed. I had even began ghosting my mother because I already knew she would sniff out the love inside of me and ruin things between me and Kwame somehow.

I shouldn’t have allowed her to get in my head. She damaged me to the point that it was becoming natural to spend time with Solo, Chris, or Marc when Kwame had to go out of town or work late. We had been house hunting because he was ready to move in together and had been talking marriage a lot. That scared me too. Shania was wrong about Kwame. I could feel and see how genuine he was and how much he adored me. However, I always reverted back to her teachings, and it was fucking me up in the end.

“Listen, Esani. I’m only telling you this because you’re my friend, and I love you. I don’t want to see you hurt or want you hurting anyone else. Yeah, men do stupid shit all the time, but when you got a real one like Kwame, you don’t fuck that up…no matter how your moms taught you to be. Unlearn that shit before it’s too late.”

“You’re right. I’m done with cheating. It’s exhausting to have to fight against my feelings for him. Sex with Marc was so bland. The whole time we were fucking, I was thinking about what to cook Kwame tonight for dinner.” We both laughed.

“Sad!” Tania yelped. “Well, you may as well start calling them niggas now. I like Kwame for you, and I don’t want you to mess that up, especially now that DeAngelo and I are getting serious.”

“What happened with you and Dallas?”

“Girl, Dallas is out here planting his seeds all over the earth. I found out his ass has five baby mamas!”

“Not five! Lawwwd. See? That’s why I be skeptical about these men.”

“Yeah, but I have a good feeling about Kwame. I can see he makes you genuinely happy. Them damn dimples be deep as hell in your cheeks when you’re with him. I love him for you.”

I blushed slightly and nodded. I couldn’t agree with her more.

“I am very happy. I-I think I love him, Nia.”

“Iknowyou do, friend. Don’t mess this up. Please. For your sake and for his.”

“I promise I’m done.”

“Good. Now, let’s get to work before our clients arrive.”

I stood and walked around my station, giving her a hug.

“I love you, babes.”

“I love you more, toots.”

7

Kwame

“Ihave no idea how you got my phone number or why you’ve been calling me nonstop, but you have my attention now,” I said as I sat down in front of Tania, Esani’s best friend.

We were sitting in J. Alexander’s, and I was trying to understand her problem. She had been calling me non-stop for the past three months and leaving voicemails, telling me that it was urgent and imperative that she talked to me face to face. This was weird, and I was two seconds from telling Esa about her girl, but I wanted to see exactly the emergency of her wanting to meet with me so bad.

---