Page 79 of The Filth Kings

“So, it’s really official between the two of you?” He asked in shock.

I tugged at the bottom of my beard and smiled, my right hand navigated my car on the freeway as I thought about how fast me and Natavi was moving. She wasn’t going nowhere; I wasn’t going to ever let her go. I said that shit in my head at least two times a day because it felt too good to be true. I was headed home, with dried blood on both hands. This type of shit turned her on and worried her at the same time.

She accepted me for who the fuck I was. She held the strings that pulled at my heart. I could look in Natavi eyes and want to give her the universe and beyond.

“She’s the mother of my first-born, my soon to be wife. I don’t give a fuck about how fast it happened either. She’s mine and will always be mines. If you really wanted Angel, you’d stop being a scary lil bitch and go get her. You got her before, what’s stopping you now?” I said into the phone as I ended our call before he had time to respond to my words.

Detavio knew what he had to do, just like I knew what to do with Natavi. I stopped letting my past hold me back and got in touch with my grown man feelings. I reached for my blunt inside of the cup holder then cracked my window as I exited off the freeway.I’d give her the universe and beyond.I recited in my head. Those words sounded like the only truth I’d ever known.

Natavi was my person, we clicked in ways that I didn’t know was possible. Like two scattered puzzle pieces finally finding their place. With her, I didn’t have to pretend. I didn’t have to keep my darkness so close because when I was with her, I saw a comforting light. My guard was down, and I didn’t feel paranoid about it being down. I could breathe with Natavi, I was also able to discover a language that I never knew before her. Real raw love.

She felt the gravity that pulled me back when I felt myself float too far out into emptiness. Her eyes were always steady and sure, like she could see all of me…even the parts that I kept hidden and would never tell her about for the sake of her sanity. In her space, her presence…the world felt less cold. I dropped a lone tear as I pulled onto my lawn, I parked in front of my house and stayed inside of my truck for a couple of minutes.

The universe seemed so small in comparison to what Natavi deserved. If I could, I’d give her and my unborn baby…every star, every planet, and every inch of the sky. I could face it all, even the past traumas that held me back constantly. Because with Natavi, nothing else mattered.

I gripped the wheel tighter, the weight to my overwhelmed thoughts pressed down hard on me. I didn’t just come home with blood on my hands for getting rid of the muthafuckas that caused me so much pain—no—I was coming home to where the fuck I belonged and was meant to be.

Thirty-Six

“Girl, wake the hell up!”Natavi nudged me hard.

I sat up disoriented, I struggled to catch my breath as I looked around my room feeling misplaced. I had been home for a week, and still felt like I didn’t belong. I told myself that maybe it was me that now experienced Stockholm syndrome.

“I heard you in here moaning like you were getting fucked. I stomped in here to tell you that I could have stayed my pregnant ass at home with my man, if you had company.” Natavi eyed my bed suspiciously.

I ignored her smart-ass remarks and reached underneath my blankets to pat underneath me. My dreams made me create puddles of wetness in my bed. It would be embarrassing for Natavi to flop down on a soaked bed. She’d never let me hear the end of that.

“It’s dry. You know damn well no one was in here either, Natavi.” I rolled my eyes hard at her.

Before I could curse her ass out for busting in my room in the middle of one of the steamiest wet dreams that I just had in a while, I tried to cool off and calm down by throwing my sheets off of me.

“Just making sure before I take a seat.” Natavi chuckled then sat down at the edge of my bed.

She turned her body to face me and pursed her lips. It was funny how all week she had been preaching to me about everything that I allowed Detavio to do. I now knew what it felt like to have a friend go against your reasoning. All week I talked about how crazy Detavio was. Then at the end of every conversation we held about him, I always added that I knew deep down he had some goodness inside of him. I held back until last night telling Natavi everything. She went through a series of raging pregnancy hormones.

“Why don’t you just call him, he’s been all over the news and in press conferences. Some people are saying that he did it since he gives no signs of emotions when he talks about his entire city being burnt down with no traces of his father?—”

“You and I both know that Detavio don’t give a damn about what people saying. Bloggers better leave him alone before he kidnap and fuck them raw in a dark deserted alley.” I spat out.

I could feel myself grow agitated with my own damn thoughts. This entire week without seeing or hearing from Detavio made me anxious and confused. I thought I needed space and time to heal from being locked inside of his pit. Truth is, the sick and twisted side of me, wanted him to stalk and kidnap me again. I wanted to see him, but I wouldn’t dare make the first move.

Last night, Natavi came over and ended up spending the night. It was much needed; I cried to her and told her everything. She told me all about her and Monster’s relationship and how she was a little over seven weeks pregnant with his baby. I thought about the possibility of me being pregnant too, since Detavio nor I was responsible enough to stop and use condoms.

“So you’re jealous…” Natavi’s voice trailed off as her eyes grew big.

“You jealous as fuck! You don’t want him kidnapping no other woman but you! Your twisted lil ass probably wants him to continue to stalk you! I know you all too well, Angel. Please don’t try to sit in my face and play.” She tilted her head to the side and started to bounce her long legs.

“Since you know me so well…why haven’t I called him? I know where he lives…so why haven’t I gone to see about him?” I retorted.

“Because…” She smacked her lips.

“You want him to see about you! You’ve always been this way, even with the men that you have tried to date. It’s just that with Detavio, you have no way of taming you. He doesn’t fit in your stands and expectations of a man. From the moment he threatened you at your mom’s coffee shop, you was turned on?—”

“Natavi, please don’t go there.” I fanned her off nonchalantly.

The words that Detavio said to me a while back played in my head.

“Life is about choices, you live with what you choose, Angel. If you choose to fuck with me and my family…I’ll ruin you…sexually…mentally…then, physically. I’ll fuck your soul into mine, then turn you into something that you will never be able recognize. Fall the fuck back and continue to enjoy all the blind dates that you do on ‘Meet Me’.”

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