Page 91 of Knot That Difficult

“If it makes you feel any better,” Tammy adds, placing the meat in the oven, “I’m sure they’re just as upset as you are. You’re not the only one that’s hurting.”

I make a face. “How is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Whatever you’re feeling, they’re likely feeling,” she explains. “It’s part of the mating bond. So, if it didn’t go the way you wanted it to, I’m sure the three of them feel that.”

I swallow. “They didn’t even get to meet you yet,” I murmur.

“I’ve met Connor, silly girl,” she chastises gently. “And you know I love Ben. You don’t need my blessing to have a pack.”

But I want it,I think.

I wanted Tammy to give the green light to Connor and Ace before I formed a pack with them, but I was impulsive, and it wasn’t perfect like it was supposed to be.

“Also, since we’re on the subject, you have a lot of presents that have been delivered. Do you want to open them?”

I look at her. “Presents?” I repeat, an emotion besides sorrow filling my chest.

Tammy nods. “Come on,” she says, and I follow her to the spacious closet in her front room. When she opens the door, my jaw drops.

It’s floor-to-ceiling packages, wrapped in different papers and bows.

Presents.

Ben knows how much presents mean to me. Growing up, they were rare and treasured.

Now, there’s a closet full of them.

“They’re from your boys,” Tammy says gently. “More keep showing up every day.”

“Why haven’t you shown me these until now?” I ask, my mouth hanging open.

“I wasn’t sure if you were ready to see them. You’ve been pouring all your time into the café, and this was your first day off. But eventually I would have to start letting them pile up in the front room.”

This isn’t the first time Tammy has had to deal with packages showing up at her door. When April had the volatile breakup with her pack, Donovan, her pack leader, had sent her a mysterious white box.

For a moment, everyone thought it was a bomb.

But these packages, perfectly wrapped in lilac and pink papers, aredefinitelynot bombs.

The scents of coffee, lavender, and the slightest hint of soap waft off the packages.

“You can open them whenever you want,” Tammy says.

I want to, badly.

Ben must have told Connor and Ace how much the act of giving and receiving presents means to me.

As tempting as it is to tear them open, I shake my head.

“I can’t, yet,” I whisper. “I want to…but I’m scared.”

“What are you afraid of, honey?”

I swallow. “Everything.”

I’m afraid of what will be inside them, despite my curiosity. I’m terrified it will hurt me more.

Part of me even feels guilty about receiving them, especially because I’m the one that messed everything up.

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