Zain sat onthe wooden rocking chair on his mom’s front porch. The sun had set, and storm clouds were rolling in across the light-gray sky. It’d been a few years since he was home, but hell, it was more like a lifetime.
Maybe because the last few times he’d been here he hadn’t been present. Hadn’t slowed down. He’d probably come for dinner then dashed away, taking his dessert for the road. Now, life was different.
Because he’d missed a lot of time. He couldn’t get over the streaks of white in his mom’s dark hair. The added wrinkles around her eyes. His absence had aged her. But more than that, his distance had.
He’d grown up and grown away and now...
Well, now he wanted to be back.
As he stared at the sweeping stretch of lawn, he could see himself growing old on this property. Hopefully older than his dad had.
He glanced at the chair beside him. His father’s rocking chair was identical to the one in which he sat. If his dad were here right now, they’d have a lot to talk about. But the heart attacked that’d taken him eight years ago robbed them of the moment. The fact that he’d been overseas when his mother had gone through that hell would eat at him forever.
His dad would’ve liked Dana. He’d always been after Zain and Rami to get married. He smiled at the memory just as the breeze picked up, carrying with it the scent of cherry blossoms and rain.
Damn, those cherry blossoms.
He wanted Dana to come back. Should’ve gone with her.
She’d left a couple of hours ago, wanting to visit her own parents. Which he understood. Surely they’d been a wreck with her gone. He suspected she’d wanted to give him time to be alone with his family too.
Yeah, he wanted to be with them. But he also wanted her. Without her, he was unsettled. A gnawing sensation of something not being right clung to him.
He should’ve asked her to stay. But he couldn’t just invite himself to her place—and her sleeping at his mom’s, well, that’d be awkward as fuck.
Tomorrow he’d swing by her office, and if she was at work, he’d offer to take her out to eat. Lunch was casual, less forward than a dinner invitation, but it’d give him some time with her.
He also needed to get his life together. Rami had rented out Zain’s apartment and stashed his belongings in storage. They hadn’t sold his things in the hope that he’d return, and for that Zain was grateful. In the flickering moments in Afghanistan when he thought about his old life, he assumed allhis shit had been sold and his apartment rented.
Rami had given notice to the current tenant, so Zain would get his place back in thirty days. Until then, he’d have to stay with Rami or his mom.
The screen door squeaked. “Hey,” Rami said, as he sat in their dad’s chair. “How you doing?”
They’d already talked for hours, and he’d told them he’d been working undercover. Both his brother and his mom had been shocked that his absence was the result of being recruited by the CIA. Of course he left out any further details that could implicate the CIA’s mission, but dammit he had to give them an explanation, and only the truth would suffice.
Zain rested his chin on his knuckles. “All right. Guess I’m staying here tonight.”
Rami smirked. “Mom will love it.”
He didn’t hide his smile. Sleeping in his old room would be weird, though. Especially since the bed hadn’t been upgraded in the sixteen years since he left home. “You guys leaving soon?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a meeting at Backcountry tomorrow morning. We’ve got another big client, so we’re gonna need the whole team on this one. You should come by the office and meet everyone.”
That’d give him the opportunity to see Dana. “Sure. I’ve got a call in the morning, but I can swing by around 10:00 a.m. Business is good?”
Rami nodded. “We’re growing faster than we can handle. Going to start taking on elite casesnow, not so much the smaller gigs. It’ll allow us to charge more without having to increase manpower. It’s so hard to find good employees nowadays, especially with our background.” He elbowed Zain. “Have you given any thought to what you’ll do now that you’re home?”
Zain grunted. He hadn’t. His mind was still stuck in Afghanistan and focused on the job he hadn’t completed. He couldn’t tell Rami the details about the search for Jabar, but he’d let his brother know things hadn’t ended well. “I have enough money in savings to carry me for a bit. I’ll figure out my plans while I wait for my apartment. Maybe I’ll take a trip.”
Mischief sparked in Rami’s eyes. “Are you going to take my analyst with you? I mean, I’d hate to be shorthanded, but I’m pretty sure Dana has some vacation days to use.”
Zain scoffed and steered his gaze toward the storm clouds so Rami couldn’t read his face. “Dana’s a sweetheart. She can do better than an unhinged failed soldier.” Lightning clapped in the distance.
Was Dana home now? He hated the idea of her driving in the storm. The urge to call her made him reach for his phone. They’d exchanged numbers earlier, but he’d look like a desperate douchebag calling her so soon after she’d left.
Rami nudged him harder. “Hey. Don’t be dumb, man. You’ve accomplished more than mostmen your age. You got in over your head. So what?”
Zain balled his hands into fists. Rami was only trying to ease his frustration, but the more Zain thought about the mission he’d screwed up, the more it pissed him off.