Page 71 of Tide of Waves and Secrets

We walked well ahead of the others now. Far enough ahead that I could be honest.

“I wish you could tell me more, but even though you do not… even though you don’t trust me with your truth, I have missed you.”

“Nerys.” His smile faltered. “I do trust you. Surely you know as much.”

There was a part of me that believed him, despite myself.

“I’ve missed you too. Very much. And worry for your safety.”

I turned back to the others. “Go straight until you see a reflective pool on your right. Turn left and the stairs will be in front of you at the end of that corridor. We will catch you outside.”

Marek grinned. “Enjoy escorting him up the stairs.” As they passed us, Marek slapped Rowan on the back good-naturedly and all but skipped ahead of us, not even noticing the look Caelum gave him.

We watched them walk straight ahead, eventually turning the corner. When they did, I was pulled into Rowan without preamble. His lips covered mine as Rowan’s arms wrapped around him the exact way I’d envisioned. I held onto him, not caring about his secrets. Or about anything other than the way his tongue caressed mine. The way his hands moved effortlessly down to my waist and then upwards, cupping both breasts. I’m certain it was meant to be a quick kiss, but instead, as I released a small groan of pleasure, Rowan increased the pressure of his kiss.

When his hands moved lower, one of them slipped toward the delicate strands of braided rope that served as my belt. Loosening it, his hand dipped beneath the waistband of my fitted trousers until they found their mark. When his finger found my entrance, I groaned again, my eyes popping open as I pulled my lips from his.

“Each night when you lay in bed, without me, think of my hands this way,” he said, his gaze intent. “Think of my fingers slipping into you, the wetness they find pleasing me more than you can imagine. I want you to think of this.” Two fingers curled around me as they moved, in and out. “How it feels to know there is someone out there who lives to bring you pleasure. Who will champion you, love you, until his dying breath.”

Did he just say… I had no time to dwell on it. Rowan’s mouth remained open, mimicking my own, as he caressed me. As he moved his fingers more quickly, the pace was one of perfection. I wanted to respond, but could not.

“Come for me, Nerys. Say my name as you explode for me, as your legs buckle and I hold you up with my hand.”

“Rowan.” I could not hold on much longer. His words, his expression, the way he moved himself inside me. Already, I was so close.

Who will champion you, love you, until his dying breath.

This from the same Rowan who said we could not be. I didn’t understand, but at this moment, I didn’t want to think of the future. Only the here and now.

“Rowan,” I repeated. “You said…”

He moved them just the right way. Smiling, Rowan leaned into my ear. “That’s it. Come for me, Nerys. Come all over my fingers.”

That’s all it took. I did, and just as he promised, struggled to stand as my knees buckled. He held me up, the sounds Rowan made at the back of his throat doing nothing to help me find my footing.

I hardly noticed he pulled his hands away, but I did notice when he kissed me, hard. Kissing him back, I thought of his words. Of how he’d made me feel. Though I wished we could go on kissing forever, I thought of the others, waiting. Of the coming dawn.

Reluctantly, I pulled away, looking into his eyes.

More questions would not yield answers. Not until he was ready. When that would be, I had no notion. But I could not leave it like this.

“Will I not see you again until the festival?”

“Keeping you safe until then is the priority. If remaining at the palace might help me learn something…”

In other words, no.

“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “What you said… I don’t understand, Rowan. Nothing makes sense.”

“It will. I promise. Trust me, Nerys. Train, focus on the challenge, and trust that it will work out.”

I wanted to ask if “work out” meant there was a path forward for us, but his response at the tavern still weighed on me. And there was also the matter of Rowan being human. I had Caelum’s words to think about. And Aneri’s guidance to offer. It was time I spoke with her on the matter as well.

“I do trust you, Rowan,” I said, meaning it. “But I do not trust the queen. Not any longer. Please be careful.”

“Do not worry about me. It’s you she wishes to discredit.”

Though part of me did not want to tell him, another part of me knew I must.

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