When I didn’t respond, she asked, “Do you have feelings for him? It’s okay if you do. Sometimes those cold-blooded types have a way of drawing you in. I wouldn’t blame you for feeling something.”
I rubbed a hand over my forehead before pinching the bridge of my nose. With a shake of my head, I said, “I don’t know. Sometimes I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone or anything on this planet. Other times I think there might be more beneath the surface that he doesn’t show anyone, and I’m curious about what that might be. I’m not sure I can pay the price it would cost to find out though.”
Athena sighed. “That’s fair. A girl’s heart can only take so much. Do you want me to come home with you? I can spend the night. We can talk some more or just hang out.”
I should have said yes. Spending some quality time with my best friend was more important than waiting to see if Rebel would appear on my balcony later tonight. Unfortunately, the hope of seeing him won out.
“I’m not sure I’m up for it tonight. I think I’m going to take a shower and crash. You should go back to the party and have fun. Thanks for coming with me though. It means a lot.” I gave her a hug as we pulled up in front of my house. Rebel’s keyed car was still in his driveway, right where he’d left it. Was it wrong that part of me wanted to set the damn thing on fire?
I quietly let myself in the house, doing my best not to make any noise. Mom and Larry tended to go to bed on the early side. The large house was almost too quiet. The only sound was the ticking of the clock that hung on the wall in the living room. Leaving it behind, I ascended the stairs to my bedroom.
Undressing for the shower in my attached bathroom, bruises on my inner thighs caught my eye. I could never really leave Rebel behind. Not as long as traces of him marked my body.
In the shower, I did my best to scrub his scent away. For just a moment, I acknowledged that I did feel something for him. Something that didn’t make any sense to me. How could I have warm and fuzzy feelings towards someone who had jerked me around like this?
I kept flashing back to the look on his face right before he walked away. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Was he forgetting that I was the victim here? Rebel had issues. The sooner I cut ties with him the better.
Even though I told myself that, I still left the balcony door unlocked for him. Larry had replaced the lock right after Rebel broke it. I didn’t tell him what happened. I’d only mentioned that I noticed it wasn’t working anymore. He also recommended keeping a large stick in the sliding part of the door, so the door couldn’t be slid open. I didn’t do that. Not tonight.
Flopping down on my bed, I scrolled through Instagram, finding the many party pictures my friends were posting. Maybe I should’ve stayed and tried to have fun with the girls. When one of Luna’s pictures showed Rebel in the background, I put the phone down, unable to look any longer.
I turned off my light and stared into the darkness. Waiting. And as the night went on, I hoped that he would come.
He didn’t.
* * * *
I didn’t remember falling asleep. The sudden sharp knock at my bedroom door jerked me awake. I blinked my sleepy eyes, trying to focus.
Mom entered my room a moment later. “Storm? Oh good, you’re home. Do you know where your brother is? He didn’t come home last night.”
“He was at the party last night. I think he was there with Jason. Did you try calling his phone?” A glance at my own phone told me it was well past noon already. Oops.
“Of course I did. His phone is off. It went straight to voicemail. He told me he would be home last night. Do you know how to reach any of his friends?” There was an urgency in Mom’s voice that made me move faster.
I got out of bed, reaching for the robe slung over the back of the chair at my desk. “I don’t have their numbers, but I can DM the guys I saw him at the party with. He probably crashed at one of their places. I’ll come down in a few minutes. Is there coffee?”
“I’ll make you a fresh cup. Let me know if you find him. He was supposed to help me with some work in the backyard today. It’s not like him to not call.” She disappeared from my room, muttering to herself as she headed back downstairs.
Chase was pretty good at calling. He knew that my mom got worried. After doing the single mom thing for so many years, she still worried about us, even though we were both adults. I really loved her for that. Still, I assumed Chase was fine.
I took a few minutes to fire off some messages to his friends before going down for coffee. Rebel hadn’t come to my room. It shouldn’t have mattered. I hated that it stung. Feeling rejected, I occupied myself by doom scrolling until I heard back from Chase’s friends. None of them had seen him since the party last night. They’d gotten split up.
Once I relayed that message to my mom, her worry only increased. She started having scary mom visions of him dead in a ditch somewhere. I did my best to assure her that he had to be fine. He was a grown man who could take care of himself.
I kept expecting the door to open and for Chase to drag his hungover ass into the house. It never happened. The hours crawled by. He never came home. Larry and I both tried to comfort my mom, but she wasn’t having it. When supper time rolled around and there was still no Chase, she called the police.
As expected, they told her there was nothing they could do. He was an adult who hadn’t been missing for all that long. She wouldn’t accept that. Deep down she knew that something was wrong. I started to believe her.
Neither of us had much of an appetite for supper. We went through the motions of having a family meal. There was a strange silence without Chase present. It was definitely not like him to go this long without checking in. His phone being off was almost unheard of.
Shortly before nine, my mom began to cry. If Chase was alive and well, and he let my mom freak out like this, I would punch him in the brain. There was no comforting my mom who was certain that he’d run into some kind of trouble. I thought about Rebel next door. Should I talk to him? Ask him if he saw Chase last night after I left?
Instead, I retreated to the backyard to sit by myself for a while. As I stepped onto the patio, I was able to see part of Rebel’s backyard. He sat out there on a lounge chair by his pool, smoking a joint and staring at his phone.
Feeling my gaze, he glanced up only to immediately look away. Wow, all right then. Message received.
Ignoring Rebel, I went to one of the chairs placed in a circle around our fire pit and sat down with my back to him. The fence kept us from seeing one another, but I still knew he was there.