Page 94 of Deeper

Zander narrowed his eyes as a light chuckle rolled off of his breath. “You’re shittin’ me, right?”

My eyes fell to the chipped paint of our porch. “Please.”

“No.”

“Zan—”

“No!” Zander roared, causing me to take a step back. He rushed his hands through his hair and tilted his head back to groan, before he calmed down enough to look at me. “You’re not staying here.”

“I have no—”

“He can’t even be a man and look his own fuckin’ daughter in the eye when shit is hitting the fan for her,” Zander was speaking loudly, not at all trying to hide his current disgust for my father. He walked up on me, hovering over me as he peered down into my eyes. “You didnothingwrong, Bianka. Nothing! You don’t deserve to feel isolated or like a fuckin’ burden—a stain. I won’t, I won’t allow you to stomach this.It’s humiliating.”

A sob escaped my lips at the truth of it all. I was embarrassed, couldn’t believe my father would treat me like this in front of another person, couldn’t believe he couldn’t ask about Zander or be interested in my life after all these years. Couldn’t believe no one left in my family wanted me.

“I’m sorry,” I cried out, shaking my head and squeezing my eyes shut. “I’m sorry I didn’t let her know I was proud of her. I’m sorry I didn’t tell her she was still amazing. I’m sorry I hurt her.”

“She knew, Bianka, she knew,” Zander insisted. “Your mum knew your heart and she knew you. We fuck up sometimes, but our mums never doubt us. She knew how you felt abouther, and she loved you.”

For years I’d let my father treat me the way he did because a part of me felt I deserved it due to my own guilt for how I’d rebelled against my mother. I didn’t like her job, but I knew she was trying to make a difference, trying to make the world a better place.

“So, please, put your pride to the side and come stay with me,” Zander continued. “You don’t have to put up with this. I’ve got you, Bianka. I’ve got you.”

The world was still going on around us in motion, but all I could see was Zander Khalil.

When it felt like I had utterly no one, here he was, standing beside me, willing and waiting to help me pick up the pieces and begin again. My home away from home. How did I get so lucky?

I blinked away my misty vision, refusing to cry over my family ever again. Taking a peek behind me, I knew, deep in my gut, that if I left with Zander, I’d never come back here again.

Closing my eyes, I let a tear roll down my cheek, and I breathed in the last taste of Lindenwood air I’d ever taste again.

My future was in front of me, holding his hand out for me, and what’s more, taking me into his arms and keeping me safe.

And I went with him, all the way back home.

18

TALK TO ME

With each mile put between me and my father, I began to finally breathe.

Sometimes you didn’t get closure, and that was okay.

I wasn’t walking away for Zander. I was walking away for me. The small part of my heart that still felt love for Elijah Leslie was okay with finally leaving him behind because I knew he still had Pryor. And I knew Pryor still had a father. At least there was love there, for the two of them.

Me, I was alone.

Unloved.

I had walked away, but I’d been abandoned long before.

The whole way home I didn’t look at Zander, telling myself I would truly cry later when he went back to Beverly Hills.

He parked his Bentley beside my Sentra and slowly shut off the ignition.

“You’re coming in?” I focused down on my lap.

It was easy to leave with him, but now in the aftermath, everything felt heavy. Everything felt real.

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