Page 32 of Never Been Worse

He stares at me for long moments, assessing the truth in my statement before finally nodding. “Okay,” he says, then takes a step toward the bathroom. “But if you’re uncomfortable at all, tell me, and I’m on the couch. No hard feelings.”

“Deal,” I say, plugging my phone in and moving to the side of the massive bed I’ve deemed as mine due to its closer proximity to the bathroom.

By the time Wes gets back and turns out the one remaining light, I’m pretending I’m already fast asleep, not eager to chat in the dark while we’re lying in bed together.

But lo and behold, when I wake incredibly rested, the sound of waves crashing and the bright Caribbean sun leaking in through the blinds, I’m lying on Wes Holden’s bare chest, his arm wrapped around my waist.

THIRTEEN

HARPER

The first two nights of our makeshift honeymoon, I sleep wonderfully, despite having Wes in bed with me, despite waking up wrapped around him each morning. I’m grateful that I seem to wake before him and am able to untangle myself before he notices, because I would be absolutelymortifiedif he realized I clung to him while we slept. It’s strange, since for as long as I can remember, I couldn’t even start to fall asleep if someone was in bed with me. It’s why Jeremy and I slept in separate beds when we lived together. I tried for a week to sleep in his bed, but I became so sleep deprived, I couldn’t trust myself to drive a car.

But two nights with Wes, and I’ve gotten the best sleep I ever have.

I am so totally fucked.

Wes has made it clear he would be just fine if we made things a little morerealisticduring our time together, but I know that would be a recipe for disaster, something I can’t even let my mind wander to.

So I’ve done my best to stay clear of him, to hide away in my room when I can, and only talk to him when completely necessary.

Unfortunately, when I shuffled from the bedroom where I woke alone, to get a cup of coffee, I forgot about this plan, resulting in me standing next to the coffee maker waiting for my cup when Wes walks out of the bathroom in a pair of shorts, sneakers, and no shirt.

“Good morning, little wife,” he says with a wide smile.

I simply stare at him. At his toned and tanned bare chest, at his messy hair, at his dimple that’s begging for my fingers to graze it.

“Harper?” he asks, brows furrowed just a bit, but that smile is still playing on his lips all the same.

“I, uh…coffee,” I say, stuttering like an idiot and gesturing at the machine now pouring dark liquid into a mug.

His grin spreads wider as he takes a step closer to me, reaching for a bottle of water on the counter and taking a sip.

“God, you’re fucking cute in the morning before you’ve had coffee,” he says, and then, like it’s an impulse he can’t avoid, he pulls me into him, pressing his lips to my forehead quick and hard. He holds it there for a moment, and I let my body relax into him, into his hold and the warmth of him, before he breaks it, stepping back. “I’m going for my run. Do you wanna go to the pool later?” I stare open-mouthed as I try and put pieces together to make words out of what he just said. “Got it. We’ll play it by ear. Later, baby.”

Then he’s stepping back and moving toward the door, leaving me frozen.

When I hear the door click, it knocks me out of my stupor, and without even stopping to get the coffee I came out for, I move for the stairs and my bedroom, tapping my phone screen as I go.

I need reinforcements, stat.

“Hey, babe, how’s married life?” Ava asks as she answers her FaceTime call.

“I’m spiraling, where’s Jules?” I say as I reach the landing and move toward the bedroom.

“What?”

“I need Jules to get on the call so we can chat because I’m spiraling and I don’t want to repeat myself.”

“Who’s spiraling?” Jules asks, motherly concern on her face as she takes us in, instantly pinning the panic on me. “Harp, what happened? I haven’t seen anything crazy in the tabloids. Did something leak?”

“No. Nothing happened that I know of. I’m just having a meltdown,” I say, closing the bedroom door and flopping on my bed.

“Mm, so if you’re spiraling with nothing happening, I think that’s a medical problem,” Ava says.

“Anxiety is totally normal,” Jules adds. “You’ve been going through a lot.”

“I don’t have anxiety,” I say, then roll my eyes when my friends give me abe seriouslook. “I mean, not some unnamed, undisclosed anxiety. I’m just spiraling because Wes was shirtless this morning and he kissed me on the forehead like it wasnormaland…” I pause, taking a deep breath that is very much needed before finishing. “You guys, I think my husband really likes me,” I say with the utmost seriousness, and Ava snorts out a laugh.

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